Adrian looks tired. I ask him, shall we go sleep?
He checks, tiss? (“nurse?”)
Yes, I say, we’ll nurse before sleeping.
“Nurse sleep!” he shouts and happily runs toward the dresser to put on his pyjamas.
Then he shouts “Brush teeth!” and when we’re done with that, “wave?”
Yes, of course, go wave good night to daddy and Ingrid.
“Good night Ingrid! Good night pappa! Good night iPad!”

This month we finished breastfeeding at night. I was gone for three nights, and this seemed like a good time to stop for good. The first night neither he nor Eric got much sleep at all, from what I understand. The next night was better, and the third a bit better still. When I got back home, he woke about as much as he used to (two to three times a night) but fell asleep again without nursing. There was some crying, but not an awful lot. Now, another week later, he goes back to sleep faster and with even less crying.

He sort of lost the habit of nursing during the day, too. Some days he no longer asks to nurse in the afternoon: I think he simply forgets. But when I offer the breast, he happily accepts. Now we usually nurse once in the morning, varying amounts during the afternoon, and then one last time in bed before he goes to sleep.

As he nurses less, I have the feeling that he’s become more fond of his dummy. Or perhaps he is just asking for it more clearly and verbally? In any case, he either asks for the dummy or (if we’re at home) gets it himself from the dummy bowl on top of his dresser, whenever he is upset or tired. He is especially fond of it, even dependent on it, while we’re walking home from nursery. I’m beginning to find all this dummy sucking annoying, especially since he often forgets to take it out when he talks, and I have to remind him. So I will now limit dummy use to sleeping times only.

When Adrian is upset or dissatisfied with something, he now whines. It can start as a cry, but then after a while it is clear that he is now in control of the crying and chooses to continue. He’s sort of just decided that he will continue to let us know that he is still not happy. This is not much fun to listen to, but it is better than last month’s screaming. And to be fair, he doesn’t do it very often.

He is fond of Ingrid and enjoys her company, and wants to do whatever she is doing. But he is noticeably calmer when she is not at home. With Ingrid present he is more likely to be clingy and whiny; without her he can go off to another room on his own and look at some books for example.

He likes going to nursery. He likes the teachers/carers and talks about them – or rather, at them – at home: Titta Marianne!, Kom Niklas!. He seems to dream about the other kids. Several times I’ve heard him talk about them in the middle of the night.

Ingrid was the oldest kid in her group at nursery; Adrian is almost the youngest, so he has many more kids to learn from. It’s funny to hear what different phrases he picks up from them and the teachers. From the kids, he has learned visa en grej (“show you something”), sluta nu (“stop it”), min tur (“my turn”). From the carers he has learned jag hjälper dig (“I’ll help you”), vill du ha (“do you want this one”).

This leads to some interestingly confusing grammar. From the kids he has learned “mine”. From the adults he has learned “I’ll help you”. So with “mine” he refers to himself, whereas with “I’ll help you” he reverses you/me: the “I” refers to the adult and the “you” refers to him.

He is figuring out plural and definite/indefinite forms of nouns: skon vs. skorna, bil vs. bilar. On a few occasions he’s tried some verb conjugations, too (jag springer) but mostly it’s just the infinitive.

He is fascinated by steam and smoke and clouds. One afternoon we walked past what I think is a dry cleaning facility, or perhaps some other light industrial activity, and there was a thick stream of steam coming out of a vent. Since then he points out that house and reminds me that there was steam there once, and he also points out every other source of steam and smoke. He calls clouds “smoke” as well, especially the white wispy ones.

He also mentions any kind of humming, whirring, droning noise – anything engine-like.

He is still in love with Pippi Longstocking. I bought a shirt with a Pippi print and it immediately became his favourite. He showed it off to everybody (Pippi tröja! Min Pippi!). His favourite book is a Pippi book, and his favourite song is the Pippi song. At night he goes to sleep hugging his Pippi doll with his left arm, and Pippi’s monkey with his right arm.

Now he has started calling Pippi by her full name, Pippi Långstrump. Except he cannot quite form the right sounds fast enough, and it becomes Jåmpstump. This almost sounds like rumpstump, “bum stump”, like in the song Jag är en vanlig kanin, so we now jokingly call her Pippi Bum Stump.

When we read picture books, about Pippi or anything else, he focuses on the small details. We look at a picture of Pippi’s house and garden, with Pippi and the horse and Tommy and Annika – and the thing he points out is a small frog. Or the picture might show Bu and Bä in the forest, with trees and berry bushes etc, and he focuses on a snail.

He hates nappy changes. At home we let him run around in knickers most of the time, but since that always ends with a puddle, that is not an option at nursery. I think it may be the cloth nappies he doesn’t like, so we are now trying disposable nappies for a while to see if he likes those better. On a very few occasions he has peed in the potty but mostly not.

He likes balancing on kerb stones, throwing gravel in ponds, and burying his feet in sand.
He likes climbing up into the stroller himself (the tall Stokke one) and then kneeling in it, backwards.
He likes building with Duplo and Lego blocks. Now instead of covering the board, he builds very tall single-block towers (spikes, really).
He likes playing with the marble run. I build it, and he puts the marbles in and watches them run. Just rattling the marbles in their box is fun, too.
He has discovered the wonders of jam.

I am amazed at how fast he is learning to talk. I know, I know, I said the same thing last month as well as the month before, but it still continues to amaze me. His vocabulary is expanding fast; he is constructing more varied phrases with his words; his pronunciation is much clearer.

He uses two- and three-word phrases all the time. His use of language is also more intentional: he understands what he is saying, rather than just repeating a collection of sounds.

He is now also clearly aware of the two languages in our home, and in some cases knows when to use which one. He says a word, then remembers that he is talking to Eric, and translates.

He uses language to order us around. Previously he expressed his desires – macka! or ut! and so on. Now he orders, Titta nu!, Emme kom! Even a phrase like Emme sitta här, “Mummy sit here”, used to sound like a wish and now sounds like an order. To make his will really clear he shouts it at me and yanks at my skirt at the same time. Or when he wants me to look at something, he grabs my head and tries to turn it while shouting Titta!.

And when I do not do as he wants, he gets screaming mad. He screams and then he gets down on the floor and screams and cries. He doesn’t throw himself on the floor, no, he carefully lowers himself on all fours and then maybe hangs his head, or maybe gets down on his tummy and continues to scream. Obviously he’s modelling this on someone else’s behaviour.

The thing that Adrian most often screams for is not boobs, which used to be his favourite thing in the world. No, his new favourite is film! He has all of a sudden become really fond of watching movies. The first thing he says when I pick him up at nursery is no longer “boob” but “movie”. Hemma Pippi-film, “Pippi movie at home” he says. And the same thing when we first get up in the morning: Sen, Pippi-film, “Pippi movie later”.

He mostly likes to watch Pippi Longstocking movies, and the latest Lotte movie we bought in Estonia. He talks about Teletubbies as well but usually finds them boring when he actually tries to watch them. And he always wants company when watching a movie. On weekend evenings he climbs up on Eric’s desk or our TV sofa and watches some movie with Ingrid. On weekday afternoons when he is tired after nursery, he’d ideally want to just sit in my lap, nurse, and watch a movie at the same time. Getting dinner ready with him in that state is pretty tricky. I bring my laptop to the kitchen and alternate between sitting with him and chopping veggies. He is not at all interested in joining me when I cook, nowadays.

Adrian still likes to nurse but it is becoming less important for him. At the same time he is becoming more aware of what he is doing. It is more of a pleasure and less of a need, perhaps? He sometimes wants to play with my boobs (which I don’t like) and sometimes he feeds his toys at my breast. Dolls, stuffed animals, cars, wooden blocks… everybody and everything likes milk. When he’s done, he considerately pulls my clothes back in place. (Tiss peitu!)

He can be quite considerate and thoughtful with Ingrid, too. Not when they both want the same toy or book – but when he sees Ingrid cry because she’s hit her head, he notices, wants to know what’s up, and comes with his Pippi doll and offers it to her. In the same vein, he doesn’t like movies where people seem to get angry, such as Tjorven och Skrållan where Melker Melkersson gets angry whenever he meets with another accident.

On weekdays he is usually too tired after nursery to want to do anything active at home. On weekends he still likes singing a lot, and books as well. I think he’s tired of all the books at home: he shows a lot more interest in books when we are visiting someone. Our local library has been closed during the summer but I will make an effort to take him there next week.

He likes to listen to CDs with children’s songs, and has sorta-kinda figured out the CD player. He knows how to open and close it, and he know that one of the buttons makes it play music. But he doesn’t have the patience to wait those few seconds it takes for the disc to spin up, and then starts pressing more buttons in the hope of making something happen faster, which doesn’t help. He also likes opening the lid and watching the CD go round and round (ringi ringi!) and taking out the CD to put in a different one. We will have lots of scratched CDs in the house soon.

He’s also become interested in Lego blocks, which he stacks side by side in neat, even rows, eventually covering the whole board. And he plays with the simplest puzzles. We have one with four wooden blocks, for example. He can turn all four to show the same animal, but he cannot yet put them in the right place to complete the animal. He does the same with the magnetic animals we have on the fridge: there are three parts to each animal (head, body, legs) and he can pick out the three parts of a giraffe (kael-illak) but not get them to face the right way. Ingrid sometimes prepares them for him, puts all three pieces in a row but a little bit apart, so he can push them together to complete the animal. At nursery they have two-piece jigsaws (front half of car + rear half of car, for example) and those he can actually put together, because there is obviously only one side that has the jigsaw tab-and-hole.

After all his interest in peeing and pooing while we were in Estonia, we’ve now let him run around without a nappy a lot of the time. Naturally he’s been very pleased about that. I brought out Ingrid’s old poofy knickers and they fit him well. (I’m OK with puddles on the floor but did not want to have to clean up poo from carpets.) He especially likes the ones with butterflies and flowers on them. Hearts or stripes, not so much.

I put rubbered sheets on the sofas, too, but those have turned out to be unnecessary – all the puddles happen when he stands or squats on the ground. He always tells us as soon as he has peed (kiss!) which makes it easy to clean it up after him. And since his pee is effectively odorless, the puddles haven’t been much of an imposition at all. More puddles to wipe up, but fewer nappies to change. When he does have a nappy (because we’re away from home, for example) he also often tells us when he pees, and sometimes he expicitly asks me to change his nappy.

But he never notices a need to pee before he actually does it. And when I take him to the potty (because I think he looks like he might want to pee) he never does. He cannot yet decide to pee. So we’re not potty training yet.

He is clearly right-handed, even though he is not always aware of it. When he tries to eat with his left hand, the result is a mess, and I offer him another spoon for his right hand.

He is still a sceptical eater and is much more likely to say no than yes to new food. However he has now learned to appreciate blueberries, strawberries, raspberries and plums.

He wakes at about 7 to 8 in the morning, sleeps once during the day (at home usually 40 minutes, at nursery an hour or more) and then goes to sleep some time between 7 and 8 in the evening. He wakes to nurse once at around 11, and once more about two hours before he wakes for the morning.

Impressive language development continues. Day to day, I take it for given, but when I stop to think, it is an amazing miracle.

A most pleasant addition to Adrian’s vocabulary is jaa! to complement the inte! (“no”) that appeared some months ago.

To nouns and verbs he is now adding other kinds of words, and not just “yes” and “no” and “mine”. He talks about amounts stora (“large”) and mycket (“much”), and directions – pool, “way, direction”, as in inte pool!, “not way!” for “I do not want to go this way!”, mixing Swedish and Estonian. The most abstract concept I’ve heard him use is också, “also”.

It is interesting to hear him try to figure out what a word means. On some occasions I’ve said something about him getting the sun in his eyes, and specifically said it in the car while putting up a shade on his window. “Let me put up the shade so you don’t get the sun in your eyes”. Päike silma, “sun [in the] eye” are the two key words that he hears. He knows “eye” and now tries to figure out “sun”, and the phrase as a whole. At first he just repeated the phrase when I said it. Some time later he guessed that maybe “sun” was the shade I put up – pointed at it and said päike. Then he thought that perhaps “sun” was the window, and tested his hypothesis some time later by pointing at some other window and saying päike. No, this is aken, I said. Aken! he happily repeated. This all happened over several days, maybe even more than a week.

One word pair that gets a lot of use is sjunga/laul (“sing/song” in Swedish and Estonian respectively). He loves to hear us sing, and sometimes it feels like all we do is sing. Mera, mera! he keeps saying. Or sometimes mera! inte! which means “more singing but not this song”.

We have two song books that we use a lot, and he knows which pictures go with which song. He leafs through the book and stops at some specific picture and then asks for that song – Pippi! or kanin! and so on.

Because of songs, monkeys are called umpa – “Tänk om jag hade en liten liten apa, umpa umpa fallerallera…”.

Ingrid also loved and loves songs, but Adrian seems to be more musically inclined. He listens more attentively, and his attempts at singing have more melody in them. I also get the impression that he likes Eric’s singing better than mine – which makes a lot of sense since Eric sings much better than I do. Ingrid doesn’t hear a difference, I suspect.

Today we heard him use verb tense for the first time, “Adrian has pooped”. And he had. He talks a lot about peeing and pooing, and nappies and willies. He seems to think a lot about these things, and seems to be much more aware now that he is peeing and pooing. His urinary system seems to have matured, too: he now pees large amounts infrequently rather than small squirts all the time. One moment the nappy is dry, and five minutes later it is soaked.

Adrian has started talking about peeing/pooing before he actually does it. If we were at home I would let him run around with a bare bottom and see if he can go on the potty at least some of the time. But here in Estonia we have no potty, and he feels very insecure on the toilet seat even with me supporting him. For now, all we can do is be attentive and check his nappy as soon as he mentions these things.

He is very interested in penises. He plays with his dangly bits as soon as the nappy comes off. While we were travelling from Stockholm to Tartu, we used disposable nappies, to avoid having to manage dirty nappies en route. It turned out that with disposables he could actually squeeze his hand into his nappy and check that his willy was still there. Which would be sort of OK if the only effect was to embarrass passers-by… but since he also did it at the dinner table, it was a bit gross, and it meant that the nappies then leaked because they sat askew. I had to keep reminding him again and again to take his hand out of his nappy.

He pays attention to other people’s toilet visits, too. He watches Eric and points out the relevant parts. Then he sees me go to the toilet and asks, emme snoppen? – where is mommy’s willy? I tell him I don’t have one, and he says snoppen borta, “willy gone…”

One of the new developments this month is that Adrian has a favourite cuddly toy. We went to a toy shop, and he spent a long time in front of the various Pippi figures, ignoring the rest of the store. So we bought him a large Pippi doll. Stora Pippi, “large Pippi”, he calls it, because there were three sizes in the store and we bought the largest one. He likes to hug it when falling asleep, or sometimes in the car. In the evening he takes Pippi’s clothes off, and I keep wondering whether it’s because that’s what one does when going to bed, or because Pippi’s body is soft fleece and the clothes are cheap not-so-soft cotton. He also likes Pippi books and movies – not really reading or watching them, but just holding and handling them.

He still likes to play with water in all sorts of baths and pools. He has also learned to pour water from a jug into his glass. We have a small jug that is easy for him to hold and lift, and I put just enough water in there, so he can pour all of it. He loves it. Sometimes he reaches for the jug, then realizes that his glass still has water in it, and quickly drinks it all, so that he can pour again.

He likes to climb, and he likes slides. He can now climb up onto the large jungle gym at our local playground, above my head, and can slide down from there as well. When he feels sure about a slide he comes down seated; otherwise he slides flat on his tummy, feet first. He also likes to try and climb back up the slide.

He has understood how the iPad works and asks for it at times. At first it was called “ee-i”, as in “Old MacDonald had a farm, ee-i-ee-i-oh”, because that was the app he used most. Now he has branched out to other apps, mostly SoundTouch and PictureBook (both with lots of pictures of animals and other common objects) but also some others that he just looks and pokes at, without understanding what is going on. He understands how to unlock the iPad but usually doesn’t succeed. On the other hand he manages to swipe from page to page pretty well. What he doesn’t understand yet is that he cannot have the rest of his fingers, or his other hand, on the screen while trying to do something.

We’ve also looked at photos with him, both in my camera and on the computer. All he is interested in is photos of himself. “Adrian!” he says, and asks for more.

He likes drawing, more and more, and he likes me to draw things for him. He prefers felt tip pens to pencils and crayons, and for drawing material he prefers his own hands and arms to paper.

We have cut down on nursing some more; I say no more often than I used to, when I think he just asks to nurse because he is bored. Also I no longer let him nurse during meal times, because that led to too much climbing back and forth between my lap and his chair.

His dairy intolerance is still present. Yesterday he and I ate some pasties from the supermarket, and afterwards he was all hyperactive again, the way he’s been in the past when he gets small amounts of milk.

Word of the month: min!, “mine”, meaning “I want that thing”. This leads to occasional minor fights between Adrian and Ingrid (when that thing is the toy that Ingrid just picked up) and between Adrian and myself (when that thing is a sharp knife or the book I’m reading). But he is usually willing to be redirected towards some acceptable alternative.

Another favourite and frequently-used word is läta (for “läsa”, “read”). Adrian loves to hear someone read to him. He likes animal books, but also simple stories: we’ve read the various Max books, Bu och Bä, as well as Mamma Mu. For a long while the one about Mamma Mu hurting herself was a firm favourite, with the blood and the plaster and all the drama.

He doesn’t have a word for “sing”, although he likes music a lot. Instead he usually asks for a specific song, by singing the first few words of it. Singing fixes almost all problems, from nappy changes to boring stroller rides.

Animals and such are the theme of his first iPad app, Sound Touch. He tends to “touch” the screen with his whole and and half his arm, so the results are unpredictable, but he likes it. (Not because I think he particularly needs digital entertainment, but I wanted to be prepared in case we need in-car entertainment for some longer trip.)

Among animals he has his clear favourites: elephants and pigs and squirrels, ducks and horses and fish. He points those out whenever he sees them. His favourite dummy is one with a picture of a horse: at night when going to bed he always chooses that one over one with a dog. The previous favourite had a duck. He is much less interested in the ones with dogs, and abstract patterns of hearts and such are of no interest. But he also likes to point out apples and balloons and babies.

He also has favourite clothes. His stripy jersey hat is a sort of a comfort blanket for him, but he also has a favourite fleece jacket, a favourite pair of trousers and favourite pyjamas. For other clothes his taste varies from day to day, but he almost always has an opinion. I pick a shirt, he grabs it and throws it away, and picks a better one.

He likes playing with water. Dishes in the sink, waiting to be washed up, are a real temptation, hard to resist. He just has to touch the water, put his hand in it, bang at it with a spoon, pour it with a cup etc. He also likes wiping it up afterwards but is not very effective at it. He gets a lot of practice with words like blöt, vatten, oj, trilla, plärts and papper (“wet”, “water”, “oops”, “fell”, “splash” and “paper”). I sometimes suspect that if he could, he’d play with water all day long.

He has also discovered puddles and the joy of stomping his feet in them.

Sometimes I manage to canalize that desire to play with water towards something more useful. He likes helping me cook, especially when there’s something to be poured or stirred. If water isn’t available then he’ll pour peas or chopped veggies from one bowl to another.

Adrian has also learned to crack an egg, and gets very excited when I bring out the egg carton. But he is always slightly shocked when the egg white gets on his fingers, so I try to be quick to take the cracked egg from him, to make sure he doesn’t just let go of it. (The trick is to put a large plate under the bowl, to catch the inevitable spills, which can then be poured back in the bowl.)

He sometimes works on cutting his own food, but generally prefers to either let us do it, or just eat with his hands. Also he is learning to spread margarine on bread. And everything else – such as grapes:

He likes running and climbing and slides. We think he actually runs (with both feet off the ground) but it’s hard to see. He can and likes to walk up and down stairs as long as they aren’t too steep, or he has something to hold on to. We removed the bar blocking the stairs at home some while ago and there haven’t been any falls at all. He actually doesn’t climb them much: usually there is no reason, and they’re too steep to be fun.

In general he is pretty sensible and not too wild. When we’re out walking in our local, quiet streets, I don’t hold his hand except when a car approaches. In our local supermarket I can let him have a kids’ trolley and let him walk around – supervised, so he doesn’t “buy” everything he sees, but I don’t need to hold on to him.

He talks a lot. Two-word phrases come all the time, and sometimes he does three-word phrases: emme titta hää for “mummy sit here” for example.

He tells us when he has pooped (but with frequent false positives). But when we then go to change the nappy, he often objects. So he wants to be changed but does not like the way we do it?

He is happy at nursery, rarely complains when we leave him, but is also happy to go home in the afternoon. Often he wants to cuddle on the way home, so I take him in my ring sling and use the stroller for the all our bags and stuff instead. The moment we get home he wants to nurse, and we spend then next hour alternating between nursing, snacking, cuddling and reading.

It is heart-warming to see and hear Ingrid and Adrian together. They play so nicely with each other, and Ingrid takes such good care of Adrian, that I’m almost afraid to believe it will last – even though it’s been this way since Adrian was born.

When he was a tiny baby Ingrid didn’t quite know what to do with him. But as soon as he could at least sit up and respond clearly to the world outside, she was there, waving toys in front of him and making silly faces at him.

Now their interactions are very different but apparently still pleasing to both. I say “apparently” because they’ve now progressed to a level that I as an adult cannot grasp. Their play is physical, and seems to involve lots of noise, squealing and shouting, and imitating each other. Adrian’s part is entirely non-verbal and much of the time so is Ingrid’s. When she speaks to him, it’s baby talk.

When we are out walking he prefers holding Ingrid’s hand rather than mine.

I wonder how he will react after summer when she goes to school and won’t be at nursery with him any more.

Adrian is continuing as he was last month, focusing on language development. He now does two-word sentences pretty regularly: “Ingrid shirt” (meaning “Ingrid’s shirt”), “Adrian chair” (meaning “Adrian wants to be on that chair”), “mummy shoes” (meaning “help me put on my shoes”).

“Mamma” does not necessarily mean “mummy”: he also uses it when he’s with Eric, and it seems to mean something like “big adult help me” – both broader and more specific than “mummy”.

When he needs help, he asks for it. He is confident in his ability to communicate and expects us to understand him.

In fact he now speaks clearly enough that others outside the family can understand much of what he says, after a very little bit of practice.

We spent much of this weekend with the extended Bergheden family, and Adrian (as well as Ingrid) was perfectly happy to be with them rather than hanging on our trouser legs at all times. This is something I haven’t seen at home because here Eric and I are available at all times. The nursery staff have told us that he is happy with other people, but that’s been hearsay, really. Now I’ve seen it with my own eyes. He’s not a little baby any more, totally dependent on me and Eric. He let others help him with food and drink, with his shoes and clothes, and also just enjoyed their company around the house and the yard.

The first signs of bilingualism are appearing. He knows that shoes are called both “kingad” and “skorna”, and a nose is both “nina” and “näsa”, and several other words as well.

Adrian is proactive. When he can manage something on his own, he does it: he goes gets a fork from the drawer when he wants one, and brings out his fleece when we’re getting ready to go out. He also understands sequences of actions. In the morning he can go to the bathroom, point at the toothbrush and say “teeth” – because he knows that tooth-brushing is a necessary step before we can do anything more exciting (such as going out).

On the other hand he has not yet learned that it is a good idea to get undressed before taking a bath or playing with water: he regularly gets his sleeves wet in the kitchen (and then complains about it: he does not like being wet) and often starts climbing into the bath tub with all his clothes on.

He has learned to manage stairs in both directions. Not entirely reliably yet, but he can do it. He can come down both standing up, if he has something to hold on to, or feet first on all fours.

One day when he was drawing scrawls on a sheet of paper, I drew an apple for him. He was astounded. “Äpple! Äpple!” Then some time later I drew something else (I can’t remember what – maybe a shoe, maybe a car, or something like that) and showed it to him. And he goes “Äpple! Äpple!” again – drawing an apple was such magic that he couldn’t even imagine that I could possibly draw other things as well.

Favourite song: “Tuleb, tuleb kitseke” (a song from the Estonian playgroup). Adrian likes singing as much as ever. Often he has definite opinions about what song he wants to hear, or what he doesn’t want to hear. Sometimes he starts singing the song he wants; sometimes he says “inte” to a song I begin, and I try another one and then another, until I hit one that works. He listens especially carefully when the song is a new one, except sometimes when he wants and old favourite and is not at all in the mood for anything new.

Favourite thing: his stripy jersey hat. I think it’s becoming sort of a comfort blanket for him. He also likes wearing mittens and shoes when going out. He does not like to go outside with his bare feet, and I think the mitten thing is the same: his soft little hands and feet are uncomfortable with meeting the outside world. He’s been wearing socks since he first started walking, after all, because the floors here have been cold.

Words, words and more words – and bubbly happiness when he sees that we understand what he says. He can express his wishes and desires. He understands questions and can answer them: what, where, and yes/no. He understands explanations such as “nappy change first, then shoes”.

A very practical non-verbal word he has learned is a clear shake of the head to mean “no”. This really makes communication easier and is much preferable to screaming in protest. Clothes, for example: sometimes he wants socks and sometimes he doesn’t. Now we can ask him and he can shake his head if he doesn’t want them just then.

Among the odder words he knows are “oil” and “egg” (õli and muna) – not because he eats either of those but because he likes me to use them in cooking. He can reach the bottle of cooking oil and hand it to me, and I let him hand me eggs from the carton when I need those. He even knows the difference between cooking oil and olive oil (for drizzling on a salad or on pasta) and gives me the right one. Likewise he knows “microwave” (ikko) because he likes the way it goes “ding” when it’s done.

Nina (“nose”) must be said while simultaneously pinching his nose shut, so it sounds funny.

Istu (“sit down”) means nursing, because when I see that he wants to nurse I often tell him “let me sit down first”.

Almost all birds are anka (“duck”) – everything from flamingoes to eagles. The only bird that isn’t a duck is a rooster (which also includes hens).

He is also learning the names of his friends at nursery – and his own name, Aad-an.

I believe he may be beginning to realize that Eric and I have different words for the same thing. The only word I have heard him use in both languages is auto/bil for “car”.

He is much more willing to accept Eric than Ingrid was at this age. He now goes to sleep with Eric (because with me we often ended up in a struggle as he wanted to nurse forever instead of going to sleep) and does so without the least complaint. When I lift him down from my lap, he goes to Eric, whereas Ingrid would just stand and cry next to me.

Things he likes:

• Books.
• Songs and singing. Hearing us sing. He himself is also beginning to sing/hum a little.
• Looking out through the window, especially when people pass by, ideally walking their dogs.
• Waving good-bye or hello through the window when someone leaves home or comes back.
• Going out.
• Marbles and marble runs.
• Phones, real and fake. He can take things that look nothing like a phone (such as a book, or a spoon) and pretend they’re phones – hold them to his ear and say halloo. I think it is pretty cool that he understands the concept of pretending and joking like this.
• Putting on his shoes by himself, more or less – standing up and putting his foot in a shoe, with me holding the shoe open.
• Hats and gloves. Putting on and taking off his jersey hat.
• Flowers.
• Sitting on Eric’s desk together with Ingrid while she watches a movie and he pokes at stuff.
• Climbing or crawling into large boxes.

Things he does not like:

• Leaving nursery. Quite often he runs to meet me, nurses, and then goes off to play again, and gets really angry when I try to make him go home. Sometimes it ends with me carrying a wriggling screaming baby towards the gate.
• New food. He rejects pretty much anything and looks at us as if we were trying to poison him.

My memories of the latter half of this month have, unfortunately, been dominated by crappy sleeping. First Adrian was ill for almost a week, with what I post facto diagnosed to be three-day fever (although his fever lasted four days instead of three). After that he was generally extremely tired for a few days, and since then he has been sleeping like crap.

He wakes not twice a night but every two hours, if not even more often. Normally he used to barely wake, nurse and then immediately fall back asleep. Now he nurses for a while, then sort of nods off but whimpers and wakes again, off and on for half an hour. Often he refuses to let go of the breast when he’s done nursing, so both of us half-slumber instead of sleeping. When I nevertheless take him off the breast, he gets raging mad with me. He screams and kicks and fights and generally goes totally nuts, and will not stop no matter what I do. In fact the more he is reminded of my presence, the angrier he gets. I’ve ended up fetching or waking Eric to put him back to sleep while I leave the room.

This kicking, screaming, hysterical anger seems to be his response when he really, REALLY wants something, but cannot have it. He’s done it for other reasons on a few occasions, and then gotten so mad that he’s been unable to calm himself down. He got more and more upset, wouldn’t accept his dummy, wouldn’t accept any consolation, just kicked and screamed. The only thing that put and end to it was nursing (although sometimes it was even a struggle for him to pause enough between his screams to latch on).

But those occasions have been few. Usually he is very co-operative, obedient even, and will take no for an answer. When I tell him he cannot have something, and say no like I mean it, he is OK with that. A clear, unmistakable no works best. If we instead try putting the forbidden thing out of reach, or hiding it, or distracting him, he is more likely to keep on trying to get it.

Apart from the disrupted nights, the other dominant theme is language, just like last month. He is often very clearly trying to imitate our words. We say something, he repeats, we repeat, he repeats… What he says is more and more starting to sound like actual words: he seems to be in much better control of his tongue and mouth.

His clearest word is (and I’m not kidding you) auto. He points out almost every single car we pass, especially our own car parked outside the house when we go out, and any cars that we walk past at close range. If he is walking (which he rarely does) he likes to pat the cars, and touch some small child-scaled detail such as some knob, or a blinker. And he makes prrr… noises when he sees a car or someone mentions one.

The other thing he is fond of is babies. He likes looking at babies we meet, and pictures of babies in books and elsewhere. Reading Max bil with him is an interesting experience. He is intensely focused, very interested in the car, is uncomfortable with the pages showing the quarrelling, crying toddlers, then goes “emme!” when the mother comes in.

His second clearest word is alla which means “down” in Estonian. He uses it specifically when he wants us to go down from the bedroom upstairs.

Otherwise it is mostly the same words as last month, focusing a lot on food, so he can ask for the bread, banana or water he wants. His new favourite food is margarine, eaten by the spoonful, supplanting bananas from the top spot.

He’s also learned some words for clothes: socks, mittens, shoes. Not coincidentally, those are the items of clothing he likes and asks for. Often he is running around indoors in just his nappy and socks: he is not fond of tops or trousers. But he likes his socks and brings them to us when he wants them on. (We have cold floors.)

Shoes are synonymous with going out, so he brings them when he wants to go out, and fights them when he is not in the mood for going out. Now that the temperature is above zero he is also beginning to take after Ingrid and refuse fleeces and coats when we’re outdoors. I do insist on shoes but otherwise let him make his own choices there.

Then there are such socially useful words as aitäh and tack-tack (thank you in Estonian and Swedish respectively), ei (no) and oot-oot (wait a moment). I find myself using the latter a great deal, because patience is not one of Adrian’s strong skills.

He now also has words for all of us: pappa, emme and immi. Except that he doesn’t quite seem to keep our names apart. He can point at Eric in a photo and say emme, or vice versa point to me and say pappa. And he uses emme (mummy) and immi (Ingrid) almost interchangeably.

He likes us to sing for him. This is the one “bribe” that can get an unwilling Adrian to accept a nappy change. Songs with movements are the best. The current favourite is Nyss så träffa’ jag en krokodil. We have a crocodile magnet on the fridge and he has discovered that he can use it (“KLKLKLK OOO TLTLT!”) to ask for the crocodile song.

He likes playing with water, and with things that fit in other things, cups and bowls of various sizes. He likes pouring water, putting things in water and then fishing them out again. He is getting more competent with a spoon.

Things go well at nursery. Again, the word “obedient” comes to mind: he knows he is expected to stay there, and while it is not what he would choose (and his lower lip does this little trembly thing when I hand him over to the staff) he doesn’t fight it. By the time I am out of the door, I can already see him playing happily. (Most days Eric drops him off but occasionally I do it as well.) Adrian is content throughout the whole day, all the way through the afternoon even, but very happy to see me when I come to pick him up. He drops whatever he is doing and heads straight for me.

I used to pick him up first and then we’d go together to get Ingrid. But he likes the big kids’ rooms so much that it was a struggle to get him to leave, every single day. Now we do it the other way round: first Ingrid, then Adrian. This way both are happy, and things go a lot more smoothly.

On the way home he wants me to carry him and doesn’t like sitting in the stroller. I guess he wants to get as close to me as he can after being away from me all day, even though I take the time to nurse him before we head home. Sometimes I manage to carry him part of the way, sometimes all, sometimes none, but in any case it means I try to get us all home as quickly as possible, to minimize the crying.

He is, I think, weaning himself off the dummy. At night he usually sleeps without, and he will rarely accept it as consolation.