My daily exercise is a brisk midday walk more often than it is a proper workout session, these days. Often I don’t have the energy for more.

With lower energy levels, my taste in workout videos has also changed. My favourite sources used to be PopSugar (on YouTube) and HASfit. The PopSugar videos with Raneir Pollard were the most fun. But then YouTube turned up their advertising earlier this year to truly annoying levels – interrupting a HIIT workout to show me some ads in the middle really doesn’t make me a happy user! – and I had to give up on those. I don’t mind paying for online services, but I’m not going to be bullied into paying.

I actually support HASfit via Patreon, because I watched their workout videos a lot. But now their tone doesn’t work for me any more. I used to find them motivating, but now it’s almost the opposite. Telling me “you can do more”, “if your brain is telling you you’re tired then it’s lying”, “don’t stop when you’re tired, stop when you’re done” does not help when I was already struggling to find the energy to just start. Reminding me to think about what made me come here, when I barely managed to do that, just makes it harder.

Now I mostly watch FitnessBlender. The workouts are quite similar but the tone is very different. Calmer and less pushy. Forgiving any weakness in advance, somehow. And right now this low-key approach works much better for me.

I often start the workout telling myself that I am allowed to quit before the end. I commit to five minutes only. Sometimes I find the flow as soon as I start. Other times I don’t, and I keep promising myself that I am allowed to quit after this exercise, and after the next one, and so on, if I really don’t feel like continuing. But I’ve never actually used my out.