I am starting to feel more or less normal again but my energy levels are still not what they used to be. I have my annual week-long ski tour coming up in a few days and I am still not sure if I can do it. Did a diagnostic 18-kilometre walk around Lovön to figure out what state my body is actually in. Pretty decent, it turned out.

I followed the “Lovön runt” trail most of the way. Well-marked, but somehow I still managed to lose track of it several times in the beginning. I think I got misled by animal tracks and missed the human path with no footprints in the snow. And then I had to follow deer tracks to find my way back to the marked trail. Deer tracks are quite walkable, actually, but not particularly straight.


This walk – unlike several other recent ones – did not end with a golf course, but with a royal park, which actually doesn’t look all that different from a golf course when they’re both covered with snow.

I’m done with the Sweatrrr body and more than halfway with the left sleeve.

The pattern has a dark red rolled hem at the bottom of the body. But the edge doesn’t know it’s only supposed to roll the red bit, and rolls quite a lot more. I don’t like this look at all. Not sure what I can do about it, though.

If Nysse happens to be near the door when we go out, he tends to follow us. He may stop for a moment to inspect something, but quickly catches up again. Until he tires of the whole thing and wants to go home. Which is fine… except we’re actually out for an errand (like recycling, today) and not ready to turn back yet, but on the other hand I’m not at all sure about his ability to make his own way home, given some unfortunate past occurrences.

Instead I ended up carrying him that last little bit to the recycling station, then looking for him behind the bins, and carrying him most of the way home again. I know for sure that he ranges at least two blocks from home, so from there he walked on his own.

Other times, when we’re on our way to the train station for example, we either take him back home and put him indoors, or run or sneak away from him. Which feels unkind, but better than luring him to the centre and then leaving him there to get lost.

Masses and masses of snow overnight, to the point where the front staircase in the garden was barely distinguishable. Which of course led to chaos in public transport everywhere.

Today is my last office day with Urb-it, because my contract there ends this week, so I braved the weather and the traffic and went to the office anyway. A train arrived right on schedule, just as I got to the station in the morning. But that was just dumb luck: there was a 45-minute gap in the list of trains just a short while later.

In the afternoon I wasn’t as lucky with the timing. The monitors kept promising trains in 13 minutes, and in 20 minutes, and so on, but they kept vanishing before they got to Odenplan station. One arrived after 45 minutes of waiting, though, so I got home in the end.

Not the most efficient day, but definitely worth the chance of saying farewell to people I’ve worked so closely with for two years.

There were pretty frost crystals on the bedroom window when we woke up this morning.

After my illness, I suddenly don’t want to do anything. I don’t want to eat, I don’t want to read, I don’t want to knit, I don’t want to blog, I don’t want to work out. All of it seems worse than pointless.

In fact, not just passively “not wanting”, but actively “wanting to not”.

It’s like the virus or whatever flipped a depression switch in my brain. I observe the feelings and fully realize that this isn’t normal, this isn’t me – but even knowing that, when I try to gently push myself, I almost feel revolted by the idea of doing any of it.

I guess it will go back to normal with time. It’s just been a few days.

We played another round of Exit. It went much better than last time: we did it much faster, and with fewer hints. We’re getting familiar with how the game designers think. Which is kind of also taking away a bit of the fun of it for me. I wonder if there are any competing, similar games with a fresh approach.

I’m technically not really sick any more – no fever or anything, although I’m coughing at the least provocation. But my appetite is still gone. I eat half a portion at lunch, and even though I don’t feel full, I really don’t feel like eating any more, either. Just don’t want to, at all.

After a week of little to no food already, this isn’t exactly helping me get my energy back.

Chocolate ice cream as a late night snack sort of works. I can eat it without actively struggling against it.

Looks like this is all I’m going to see of Kläppen. I’m still barely able to stand, and definitely not up to any skiing. Worst ski trip ever.

Still sick. But I’m actually eating real food today, for the first time in days. And I even stood up long enough to fix it, and then I sat up while eating it, and I even chewed it all by myself.