We’ve been watching the first season of Buffy in the evenings. (It’s been years since we had a TV so we generally don’t see any TV series when they actually run.) There was one episode where people’s nightmares became real – not only for them but for everyone. One of Xander’s nightmares was about a clown who had scared him during his 6th birthday party.
It made me think about my own nightmares. I don’t have nightmares particularly often – generally only when I am fevered or when my brain is otherwise totally knocked out of its orbit.
One nightmare that I used to have, but don’t anymore, was a childhood one that survived for many years, like Xander’s. It makes sense that a childhood nightmare would survive – we are most vulnerable to nightmares when we are children, small and powerless in a large and scary world. In that dream the world is a child’s drawing of a forest. A very young child’s drawing, with trees that are green circular scribbles and tangles on top of a brown stump. And I am running through that forest while being chased by a child’s drawing of a monster: a big black circular scribble. In fact I never see the monster but I know it is there, and I know what it looks like. I remember having that dream already over 20 years ago.
Two nightmares that I have occasionally had in more recent years both also involve running. But now I’m not running away from anything – I am running towards something, or sometimes simply running but despite my enormous efforts I barely move forward. In one variation I feel like I am running uphill through treacle and against the wind: I feel constant resistance that slows me down. I lean forward, into the resistance, until I am leaning so far that I feel like I should fall forward, but I never do.
In another variety I am again running but my feet don’t get a grip. In this dream world running is done by pushing the ground backwards underneath me, only it’s like I cannot touch the ground. My feet are moving but simply passing just above the ground without any friction. In an effort to move I lean forward (and often the ground obligingly tilts up to meet me: I often end up running uphill in this dream as well) so I can also grab the earth with my hands and pull it backwards, almost like running on all fours, except there is no weight on my hands or feet as I hover above the ground and pull at it.
It makes me think of the Red Queen in Through the Looking Glass: “it takes all the running you can do, to keep in the same place”. The dominant feeling is that of frustration.
It’s interesting, I think, that my nightmares are so abstract and so similar. I am usually not running towards anything in particular. Sometimes there are other people running as well (and they never have any trouble getting a grip on the ground!) and sometimes not. Sometimes there is a world around me – trees, a path, something – other times not. Generally it’s just me trying to run.
Far less deadly than knife-wielding clowns or giant spiders!
“I’m sure a shrink could read lots into either packing panic or running panic.”
Yes, I was thinking the exact same thing!
I have what I call “packing dreams”. I dream that I have to go somewhere but I haven’t finished packing and I’m panicking because I don’t want to leave something behind or I can’t find something or I don’t have enough room and I’m running out of time.. I have one of those dreams at least once a month. Mentally totally exhausting. I’m sure a shrink could read lots into either packing panic or running panic.
My reply here: http://simonlitton.livejournal.com/18776.html
Oh, I’ve inspired a blog post! That’s a first for me I think.
Your post reminded me of something I had completely forgotten – I also used to have dreams of losing all my teeth. I would feel one get loose and then fall out and then I’d test another one with my tongue and it would be all loose as well. And I would know, in that unexplicable way one knows things in dreams, and with great dread, that all the others would soon fall out as well.
I used to have the same type of dream as you did, Helen. I had it all through my childhood and now in my forties I still dream about it. The dream is I am escaping from my mother’s house and I run out the backdoor which leads to an open park with lots and lots of grass and open terrain. At first running takes effort. And like you i feel that I must grab onto the grass and dirt to propel me forwards and I do it over and over again until suddenly I am moving quite quickly and effortlessly and I realize that I am running on all fours. I’ve done a little research into primitive memory of walking on all fours but haven’t found that much. It’s such a familiar feeling though, it’s interesting to read that others have similar experiences.
Interesting. I hadn’t thought of that angle (primitive memories).
And (as you say) it’s very interesting to hear that others have similar dreams.
It must be common to to at least humans, I too have that almost exact dream about running or attempting to run on all fours, have done so for all my life.