For the first time since this WFH semi-quarantine started, I exercised. At home and on my own.

I much prefer group exercise. I like having a scheduled time that gives me that extra push. I like having someone else pick the music and plan the session. And I really, really like having someone shout encouragement at me.

But none of that is happening now. The gyms are still open but I really can’t see how that’s a good idea.

I’ve made some half-hearted attempts to work out at home but they all fizzled out. Today I think I found a key to making it happen: pretend that I’m doing it for real. Don’t just walk away from the computer – lock it. Don’t just take off the sweater – change into proper workout clothes. Put on workout music; bring out the dumbbells.

This felt good.

I went to the gym today for the first time since before midsummer. During vacation I’m way too busy with other things to even think about workouts. Since I went back to work I’ve been cycling to and from work about three days a week – the weather has been perfect for cycling – and that’s been enough for me. But the cycling season is going to end pretty soon: in October the mornings will be wetter and colder and most definitely darker. So it’s time to get used to indoor workouts again.

I had somehow thought that, even if the rest of me has gotten weaker over summer, perhaps my legs would still be strong from all the cycling. Nope.

The Tranebergsbron bridge is the highest point but not the high point of my bike commute. Today, with my muscles sore and tired after the first week of biking and the first week of gym workouts, and with a strong headwind, it feels steeper than usual.

When I cycle, I gauge “opposition” in number of gears. I have cycled my daily route so many times now that I know what gear I normally use in various places. When I’m having to work harder than usual, for whatever reason, I notice it because I need to use a different gear than usual. (My bike only has eight gears so it’s not too much to remember.)

Back on the bike after six weeks of vacation and not cycling: one to two gears’ difference.
Today’s headwind: between one-half and one gear.

These past weeks I have been exercising irregularly due to clashing commitments, and I’m feeling the effects. I am irritable and restless when I don’t get enough exercise. And the irregularity itself is giving me a bad case of restless legs. I was tossing and turning in bed yesterday night, trying to calm down my legs so I could sleep. Today I couldn’t even sit still in the sofa without my legs twitching. At ten o’clock, when both kids were in bed, I went for long and energetic walk, and felt much, much better when I got home (and got a good night’s sleep). (I’m posting this a few days later, not at half past midnight!)

Nighttime is not a bad time for walking. You don’t get much of a view, true. But the streets and parks are relaxingly empty and quiet.

We have Nälstafältet nearby, a kind of meadow-ish area that the city mows occasionally, with a few trees, a stream and footpaths crossing it here and there. I like to walk there occasionally: it’s near enough that it’s easy to get to, but far enough and large enough that walking to its farthest end is a proper walk. And right now it’s frozen and covered with a thin layer of snow, so it’s really pleasant to walk on: firm, but softer than asphalt, and uneven enough to feel good for the feet.

One key to making workouts happen is always having a packed gym bag at hand. When a time slot becomes available, I grab the bag and go.

About halfway through my three-month notice period, my most important task at work is “knowledge transfer” to the team of developers in India who will be taking over after everybody here leaves. This process is not particularly organized, so meetings crop up at short notice and with no flexibility about timing, and get cancelled with equally little notice.

I used to have a regular gym schedule and now it’s all in shambles; I keep having to cancel my bookings, or vice versa, I don’t book a class because of a meeting in my calendar and then that meeting disappears.

This affects my well-being more than I had expected. I’m no gym nut; I am relaxed about my workouts – but especially this time of the year, and especially with the depressing work situation, not getting the exercise I’m used to is not good for my state of mind.

I did get to go to the gym today. Yay!

I’ve been cycling to work several times a week now – since the ski trip I feel that I need to move more.

Not every day. Yet. Firstly, because of the unsettled April weather – I don’t want to cycle in rain or snow. Secondly, because I’m not strong enough to combine 20 km a day with twice-weekly strength training, and still have enough energy in the afternoon/evening for everything else that I want or need to do.

The situation at work keeps going downhill fast, and physical exercise is the best way to clear my head somewhat for at least a little while. Cycling, gym workouts, digging in the garden… I cannot focus enough to read, and relaxing activities such as knitting don’t distract the brain enough.

In the evening I’m still full of adrenaline. I literally feel like I have stress hormones up to my eyeballs. (And when I use the word “literally”, I do mean “literally” and not just “general expression of emphasis”.) Probably they extend above the eyeballs as well but I cannot feel them up there because there’s not much muscle up there. My body is ready to flee or to fight, almost twitching, looking for an outlet for the nervous energy.

I go to the gym twice a week.

Thursdays is cirkelfys, circuit training, with Lasse. Lasse’s cirkelfys class was the first one I tried, and I often think about how lucky that was, because it’s still the class I enjoy the most. Lasse is tough and demanding and makes me achieve more than I think I can, but he does it with good humour and I’ve never seen him push anyone too far. I schedule my Thursdays to make sure I can attend this class.

I haven’t yet found another class that can compare. I tried early-morning cirkelfys but concluded after a while that my body simply does not function effectively too early in the morning. I tended to just get dizzy and couldn’t do the exercises properly. So I gave up on that. Now I alternate weekly between a barbell class and a kettlebell class.

The barbell class is kind of weird because you’re supposed to do it in time with music. Lifting weights at someone else’s pace is distinctly odd. But for most exercises, the pace is slower than I would normally do, which is a good thing. Just takes some getting used to.

The kettlebell class is a tough one. In cirkelfys I feel like I do pretty well. Maybe I don’t pick the heaviest weights for all exercises, but I do for some, and in general I just feel like I’m keeping up. In the kettlebell class, by contrast, I barely manage to finish each section, and towards the end I definitely don’t manage, and afterwards I feel like a limp rag. On the plus side, it’s challenging, but at the same time it can also be a bit demoralising. Which probably means it’s really just right.

Tuesday morning is gym morning.

The ventilation in that room cannot quite cope with summer temperatures, so it’s been rather hot in there the last few weeks. But there’s only time for one more class, and then that’s it for this season.

I have enjoyed strength training more than I expected. I will miss my workouts during summer – even though I have to get up an hour earlier for them on Tuesdays. But then again I’ve always enjoyed functional whole-body sports, such as swimming, dancing, martial arts.

I have become stronger than I expected. Now there is no exercise where I pick the lowest weights. Mostly not the heaviest, either, but sometimes.

I have settled into a good workout routine. Early cirkelfys class on Tuesday mornings before work; lunchtime class Thursdays at lunchtime; other non-organized non-scheduled physical exercise on weekends.

The routine is essential. The routine is what actually makes the workouts happen. If I didn’t have the regular classes, I’m sure I’d fall off the wagon pretty quickly. There are always important tasks that need doing at work, always other hobbies to spend time on in the afternoon or evening, always a reason to sleep that extra hour in the morning.

The other thing I have settled into is an almost-permanent mild soreness. The workouts always give me slightly sore muscles, and with two days between classes there isn’t enough time for it to pass before the next class. It’s just enough to remind me that I’ve had a workout, not so much that it actually bothers me.