My energy levels have been low for months. Blogging was one of the few things that I still managed to keep up until recently, but once I fell behind, it got harder and harder to motivate myself to catch up.

I’m going to start working my way back up the hill again. It may take a while. But this blog is not abandoned.

I’ve finally reached the sleeve divide, which means that I can try the cardigan on for real, rather than just draping it over my shoulders. And I’m super pleased to say that it fits pretty well.

This, in turn, means that I can finally cut all the annoying yarns across the chest!

The colour fade from yellow to orange meant a lot of switching between colours, and quite often the live end of the yarn I needed was on the other side of the knitted fabric. I considered just knitting from wherever the yarn was – purling if the yarn was on that side of the fabric, even though the pattern called for a knit row – but was afraid that that would make it too hard to keep track of all the increases. So I just let the yarn jump the gap to where I needed it. As long as I was unsure about the fit, I didn’t dare cut the yarn (wouldn’t want to end up with lots of small pieces if I had to unravel it all) so I had all these fiddly yarns going across the chest, from one edge to the other. Now I’m going to chop them all, which is going to make things a lot easier!

It looks like I’ve gone and gotten covid-19. That’s what I get for going to the theatre and sitting cheek to jowl with a bunch of strangers, I guess.

I’m still tired, and I now also have a runny nose and an annoying ticklish, dry cough.

What really annoys me about this is the timing. I’ve managed to avoid it for two years, and now I get it just before I’m about to finally go on my long-awaited ski tour. Which I’ve missed for two seasons in a row, and been looking forward to since November.

I’ve got less than a week to get well.

I’ve gotten better since Monday and I’m back at work (thank goodness for WFH) but I’m still not really well. Tired and sluggish. Standing up feels like an effort. I’m spending a lot of my non-working time curled up in my favourite corner of the sofa with my favourite cushion and my favourite blanket.

At five o’clock in the afternoon there is still bright sunshine in places. So much better than the winter’s darkness. The short days of winter do not agree with me.

It’s time to bring out the camera bracelet again, to remind me to take photos. I’ve forgotten more often than I like, and then cheated by taking two photos the next day.

Life is gray and muddy and miserable, and Russia has started an actual war. It’s horrible to even think that this can happen – in 2022, in the middle of Europe, people are being woken by air raid sirens. And while there may be condemnations and economic sanctions, there will be no real military help to Ukraine, and Putin’s bullying will get him what he wants. Again. I’m glad that Estonia managed to join NATO before Russia became strong enough again to block other countries’ ambitions to do the same.

Is this what the beginning of WW2 felt like? Horrifying, but at a distance, and with a side of helplessness?

Now I’m off to comfort myself with pancakes for dinner.

A storm passed through today. Lots of wind, lots of snow/rain/sleet. Several times I thought that I should go take a photo. But there was always something to hold me back. “I just need to finish this thing for work first.” “After lunch.” “There’s a lull in the snowfall, this is boring.” “Now the light is fading.” And suddenly it’s evening and I have no photo. I don’t understand why I do this to myself.

I feel like I’m going to go crazy soon if I sit locked up in this house much longer, without anything happening, without anything new to see or hear or do. So I treated myself to a trip to town for some retail therapy at a yarn shop.

Bought some crazy sock yarn. Longingly looked at some merino wool that I want to use for something but I don’t yet know what. Maybe a cardigan, after I finish the black one.

I’ve almost forgotten what it is like to be in town. When you walk from a shop to the train station and there are OTHER SHOPS in the street that may also be open and may have things you also want to buy (like cat toys! or clothes!) without first having made a plan and then searched for them online, hoping that what you get is what you thought you would get.

And restaurants! There are restaurants in town. That you can also just, like, discover. And go inside, and eat food that you haven’t eaten repeatedly before, or cooked yourself. I ate Arctic Char and a Belgian chocolate cake and had a glass of Sauternes. The whole meal felt like therapy.

All these covid recommendations are making me paranoid. Even when there is no actual crowding, I am very aware of every other body in my vicinity, and I can’t really relax. I wouldn’t have gone inside if the place hadn’t been nearly empty, but luckily it was.

Morris is back to feeling comfortable enough to wander around the house and even nap here.

With Nysse being outside more, I’ve been leaving the garden door ajar so that he can get back in when he wants. Now that Morris is also getting bolder, it’s difficult to keep track of which cat is where. I don’t want to lock Nysse out, or lock Morris in overnight. And Adrian doesn’t want any cats in his bedroom when he sleeps. I’m starting to consider GPS trackers – but I can hardly put one on a cat that doesn’t even belong to us…

Also, what kind of a pathetic life do I live, when the only news worth mentioning are about the movements of cats? I need to get a life, but I don’t know how, when everything is on pause or off-limits.