This is what happens to gingerbread cookies in a household full of people who like order. They get sorted by shape, and stacked. Small hearts, large hearts, left-facing pigs, right-facing pigs, and numerous piles of small stars and circles made from the scraps of dough between the larger cookies.

This looked satisfying but later turned out to be not a very good idea. At least not when the cookies are stacked when they are still warm. Because this way the steam can’t evaporate and the cookies end up soft rather than crisp. Unfortunately we only discovered this when we had finished decorating. I put the undecorated ones back in the oven to dry them out, but you can’t heat the decorated ones because the icing goes all runny. So we will be eating soft gingerbread cookies this year.

Ingrid is a skilled decorator and makes the most fancy ones, like the Christmas trees here. Adrian likes lots of icing on his, and preferably in colour, not in white.

I like understated decorations, mostly in white.

One Christmas we got a truck-shaped cookie cutter from Mathem (the online grocery store). I guess we are valued customers or something. It’s one of Adrian’s favourites, and Ingrid made an actual Mathem truck cookie for him.

This is Adrian’s photo of the cookies he liked best: a Santa couple, a very Grinchy Grinch, and a donut with extra everything.

We made gingerbread cookies. Ingrid joined us for a while but not long enough for me to catch her in photos.

The dough was softer and stickier than usual so we had trouble getting the cookies off the table and onto the baking sheets. And the first batch got slightly burned. But once we had kneaded in more flour into the dough and adjusted the oven, the rest came out delicious.

I prefer the traditional shapes – the hearts, Christmas trees, and stars. They’re mostly convex, easy to handle, and are well suited for decorating.

The advent calendar is up.

This year it is fully activity-based. I’ve gradually been moving in this direction over the last few years anyway: the kids need no toys or other stuff, not even socks or underwear. Not even pencils or little funny erasers or hair bands. And not even chocolates or raisins or other small snacks, because Ingrid already took matters in her own hands and bought chocolate calendars for both herself and Adrian. (An Oreo calendar for her, a Lindt milk chocolate calendar for him.) I think they’re close to outgrowing this thing, but Adrian was still looking forward to it, so here it is.

There is no point in trying to turn baking lussebullar or gingerbread cookies into a calendar activity – that kind of thing needs to be planned together with the whole family. The calendar activities are all small-scale and low-stakes. Take a Christmas photo of yourself. Discuss: what if superheroes had to do Santa’s job. Look at photos from past Christmases.

The little letters on the rolled-up activity cards help me keep track which one is which, in case some activity still ends up on an unsuitable day.

November has been dark and dreary, but I held out. Sometimes I hew to tradition. No Christmas lights or decorations, no gingerbread, no lussebullar before advent. Now, though, advent is here and we can finally put up advent lights everywhere, indoors and outdoors.

These coloured, patterned ones are my favourites.

The cloud of spangles in the background is a string of outdoor lights that we hang on our thuja tree. The first time we did it, Eric could reach nearly all the way to the top and the lights covered most of the tree. Now more than ten years later the tree is twice as tall and the lights are like a little apron on the tree.

We may not get a proper Christmas celebration this year but we can at least enjoy making lussebullar.

A second Christmas, with the extended Bergheden family.

Decorating yesterday’s cookies.

My mum and my brother are here to celebrate Christmas with us. He doesn’t take up much space, but she is like a kid, and not in the best of ways. She needs constant entertainment and she expects us to provide it. If we don’t, she gets grumpy. So instead of relaxing, we need to make a plan to keep these days full of activities. Some of these we’d do anyway, like cooking extra delicious Christmas meals. In fact, it’s possible that we would do most of them. But it’s one thing to go out for a walk together because we feel like it, and another thing to do it because I have to keep other people’s moods up.

It didn’t use to be like this. Probably this is a large part of why I don’t enjoy Christmas any more.

The Christmas thing is in full swing.

Cookies were made, gifts were opened, plenty of food was eaten.

For the past few Christmases, I’ve had to make more and more of an effort to enjoy this circus at least somewhat. I used to be able to. Now it’s just a chore.

Waiting for the knäck to reach the right temperature. (knäck is a traditional Swedish Christmas treat.)