The Estonian playgroup at the Estonian House here in Stockholm operates a small library of children’s books. I borrowed a few books last time we were there (two weeks ago). All three are illustrated verse stories – about a verse per page. (Stories in verse are going down very well with Ingrid just now.) One was Robot Leol on tähtis päev (by Pusa), the other two were Jaak ja lumi and Jaak läheb poodi (by Epp Annus).

I don’t normally review children’s books, but some make such a strong impression on me that I simply cannot keep quiet about them.

The first one (Robot Leo…) is about a robot called Leo who’s expecting a guest, and he wants to offer her some cake. So he’s pottering around preparing for this: fetching a table and a tablecloth, choosing plates and cutlery, finding a cake etc. The story is kind of weird, though. Leo doesn’t bake a cake, or buy a cake – no, he chooses between the cakes he happens to have in his fridge. And there are strange attempts to introduce educational elements into the story: the reader/listener is urged to help Leo find the blue cups etc.

The other two have more normal stories. In one, a small boy called Jaak goes out to play in the snow; in the other, Jaak goes to the supermarket with his father.

The one thing that these books have in common is the writing. The writing is awful. It hurts my brain to read this stuff, and makes me cringe. The rhymes are embarrassing. The meter is off so the lines get stuck in my mouth when I try to read them. Actually I’m now editing them on the fly, changing the text to make the reading experience less painful.

Try reading this out loud:

Aita leida laualina,
selline mis oleks kena!
Äkki ruudud sobiks hästi
kui need oleks risti-rästi?
Ruut on kui kandiline klots,
millel puudub sabaots.

The fifth line so obviously deviates from the rhythm of the rest of this verse that I stumble over it every time. And it would have been so easy to fix.

Or for weak rhymes:

Jaagu käsi on nüüd märg
ja läheb kinda sisse sooja.
Näe, nurga taga maas on pang,
Jaak asub lund kokku tooma.

The rhymes in Robot Leo are not as bad, but they come at a cost: many lines seem to be simple fillers, chosen only to make a rhyme fit, not because the content of the line makes sense or fits the story. (“Klots… millel puudub sabaots” – a square block that doesn’t have a tail – what?) The overall impression is that Robot Leo was written by a 10-year-old and then published without any editing at all. And somehow this book got the support of the Culture Ministry of Estonia.

The books about Jaak are more conventional in style and content so they’re more likely to simply be the works of a mediocre writer.

I really dislike Robot Leo and I have been tempted to hide it so Ingrid cannot ask me to read it any more. I am looking forward to returning it to the library tomorrow.

Actually, the books do have one more thing in common. They were all published by the same outfit: Päike ja Pilv. After this experience I will avoid their books like the plague.

Apollo.ee: Robot Leol on tähtis päev, Jaak läheb poodi, Jaak ja lumi.