Life continues in its usual tracks. Even the bits that I want to change are hard to change. Adrian resists change.

A month ago, in fact already before my thirty-three-month post, I decided to wean him off nursing at night. He was by that time half-waking once at about 5:30 every morning for a quick nurse, after which he would easily fall back asleep. Now he still wakes at about the same time, cries, yells at me, kicks, pulls at my t-shirt, and communicates in all other possible ways that he really does NOT agree with this new policy. It is obvious that he does not wake because he is done sleeping: he is tired and bleary-eyed, and does actually fall asleep again after 10 or 15 minutes or so. And when he next wakes, about an hour and a half later, he is in a completely different mood. But his sleep is restless for about an hour so I actually get less quality sleep than before.

I thought he would get used to this new deal after a while, and maybe he will. Since it’s already been over a month, I’m beginning to suspect that it might not happen until we stop nursing completely. Which he is also very unwilling to do. But I have now had enough (believe it or not) so I am saying no to him more often than I used to.

Sometimes he nurses for comfort, but often plain cuddles and hugs work as well. Sometimes he tells me that he doesn’t want a hug, he just wants to cry, or to be angry.

Many times he asks to nurse just because he can. He has nothing important to do, I am sitting down and – to his eyes – looking like I’m just waiting for him to nurse. So he asks to nurse – sort of like some adults drink coffee I guess. In those situation the solution is to find something for me to do, something that is incompatible with me sitting down. We go and empty the dishwasher, prepare lunch, go grocery shopping etc.

Adrian doesn’t join me in my chores as often as he used to, except when it comes to grocery shopping, which he is always up for. He likes shopping, and he likes outings. One game that he has played several times (while I was watering in the garden I think) is that he pretended to be out driving. He had some random toy that marked the store, and then he drove there. First he drove to Erikshjälpen, which is a large charity shop in Spånga. Then he drove to Bauhaus, he said, which is a DIY/construction materials store.

Another area where I am not making much progress is potty training. I ask him to sit on the potty; he usually refuses, or sits for 20 seconds and then runs off. And then he pees in his nappy two minutes later.

He pretty much only speaks Swedish, although he has no trouble understanding my Estonian. There are some words that he insists in saying in Estonian even when the rest of the sentence is in Swedish. sülle (“[to be] in your lap”) and magustoit (“dessert”) he almost always says in Estonian.

The most memorable ones are the ones that also exist in Swedish but mean something completely different. Torka in Estonian means “to spear”, such as to spear something on your fork. That is how Adrian uses it, except he uses it in a Swedish context and in Swedish torka means “to dry”. Jag ska torka den med gaffeln, “I will dry it with my fork”. Likewise sega in Estonian means “to stir, to mix” whereas in Swedish seg means “rubbery, tough”. Emme kan du sega min gröt – “can you rubbery my porridge”.

A language construct that he likes and often uses mostly correctly is när/då, “when/then”. “When it rains, we get wet.” Sometimes he broadens its meaning to just “things that belong together”, and sometimes he reverses the connection: “when we go to the kitchen, we eat”.

Favourite new activities: He likes balancing on things, and jumping down from them.