One big problem in our relationship in recent years was that we both felt that we were not allowed to make mistakes.

He said he couldn’t make mistakes because I would immediately correct him.

I felt I couldn’t make mistakes (express myself in a less than perfect way) because I was then immediately labelled as “negative” and “the cause of all problems”.

That naturally felt bad for both of us.

Maybe I’m just finding excuses here, but to me, there’s a fundamental qualitative difference between these two.

One is being told “you were wrong about this”.
The other is being told “you are a bad person”.

One you can agree or disagree with, accept or reject.
The other is an attack on your whole being.