The zombie-like state of the first three weeks has passed: this week I have actually felt like a human being again. I hadn’t really realised how tired I was before – I only see it now, looking back.

Suddenly there is room for other sensations than tiredness in my brain. During the first two weeks I often ate and drank only because Eric reminded me to. (I think I lost 3–4 kg during those 3 weeks. Oops.) Now I feel hungry again, and eat almost as often as Ingrid does. And as an interesting side effect of breastfeeding, I feel thirsty during the day. This is a new sensation for me; previously I have only been thirsty due to hot weather or physical exertion.

Most importantly, though, not being exhausted means that I now finally have energy for positive emotions. During the first weeks Ingrid was mostly just a chore, and sometimes a very frustrating one.

It is a lot easier to feel loving kindness and show love towards her now that I am not so tired.