Another misty morning, this time seen along the Tranebergsbron bridge.

A beautiful misty morning. (View from the tram bridge towards Stora Essingen.)

The mornings are cold now, just barely above zero. I’m taking these chances to cycle to work because I feel very conscious of the fact that the end of the cycling season is near. Yeah, it’s technically possible to cycle all winter, but I don’t have the equipment for it and I don’t enjoy cycling in the dark.

Eric and I are divorcing.

We agreed to do this about a month ago. Now that Ingrid and Adrian, our families, and closest friends have been informed, I can write about it here.

It’s been a long time coming. We did counselling a few years back, but it didn’t make any real difference. We just can’t reach each other any more. We both want/need things from each other that the other isn’t able to provide. There is always a tension of underlying dissatisfaction. It can be unnoticeable for a while, but keeps coming back.

There are no signs that we can ever “fix” this. I see no common foundation to build upon. After years of vain effort, everybody will feel better if we stop struggling and let go.

I have been vaguely considering the idea of divorce for a long time. At first as a scary worst-case scenario – what if we can’t make our relationship work and have to divorce? – that led me to do everything possible to avoid it. Then as a possible, but still scary outcome. Finally as a practical solution. Now that we have agreed to go ahead with it, the feeling is one of relief.

Ingrid and Adrian were initially very shocked but are, I believe, getting used to the idea. They both have multiple friends with divorced parents, and though a few have very rocky co-parenting relationships, most manage it without drama.

The shock was, in my eyes, a good thing. If we had gotten to a state where dissent was obviously visible even to children, then we’d have been well past the point where something needs to happen.

Now we can do this in a civilized, even friendly way, without drama. Figure out all the practicalities together; sort out all the admin. We sent in the divorce papers yesterday, but probably won’t have separated our households before the end of the year. Eric has bought an apartment with a move-in date in November, and then he’ll need time to furnish it. I’ll be keeping the house; today we started the process of getting it valued.

Every autumn the indoor temperature takes me by surprise.

Outdoors, the average temperature mostly follows a nice curve. Warm summer, gradual decline into cool autumn, continuing into a cold winter, and then a corresponding curve back up in spring.

Intuitively I expect the same indoors. Warm in summer, cool in autumn, cold in winter. But that is not what happens. Instead it is warm in summer, cold in autumn, then the heating turns on, and we have the same cold all the way through to late spring when we can turn off the heating again. It wasn’t necessarily always like that, but it’s been our reality since Sweden’s electricity prices spiked in 2021.

This means that there is a very short season for medium-warm clothes: long-sleeved jersey dresses, thin jersey tops, things with lacy sleeves. Half of August maybe, all of September, and that’s more or less it. After that it’s all layers of wool.