I slept really, really badly today and have been tired and listless all day. Had no energy for anything other than reading.

Sometimes my sleep goes wrong. I hover on the edge of sleep and dream weird dreams all night and don’t get any deep, restful sleep at all. They’re not exactly nightmares, not quite – no dreams of falling or being chased – but the dreams are all about something being wrong. I’m going to gym class but I’m wearing heavy boots. I’m in a stairwell and I need to go up but the stairs are not there. I’m in a home (that’s not my real home but it is my home in the dream) but the furniture has been rearranged. I’m in my last year of university but I realize I haven’t taken any of the required courses. And so on. I wake up in the morning and I feel like I’ve barely slept.

Adrian, starving for contact, sat next to me in the sofa and browsed my blog, especially all posts in the “Adrian” category, and showed his favourites to me. From the first photos of him as a baby, to the last few days’ posts about Åre.