The remodelling is continuing and the rooms are taking shape. Now I’ve started giving some serious thought to wall finishes and colours. (The floors we have already pretty much decided: pine plank in the new living room and the office, to match the existing living room. And honey-coloured tile in the entry hall and the walk-in closet, same as in the mud room.)

At first I had simply assumed that of course the walls will be white. I now realize I thought this way mostly out of inertia and laziness. All the walls were white when we moved in so I’ve gotten used to that look, and it requires very little thought. But when I started thinking about it, I realized that what I’m doing is just postponing the issue. We will have to decorate and furnish the rooms, and that will NOT be done all in white, so I will have to choose colours anyway.

When I think about houses, homes and other rooms I’ve seen, it’s not the white ones that I have strong memories of. I remember our yellow striped living room from Enskede. I remember the dark brick walls from our flat in Constantine Court. When I look at photos of rooms, I’m rarely attracted by the ones with white walls.

Then I found a blog post about how white is a snob, quoting from a book:

Bad white spaces are those where white is not used as a colour but in the misguided notion that it is the avoidance of colour. This is when white looks bald and empty, cheap and unfriendly. Or it can look unfinished, a beginning still waiting for something to happen!

And that is exactly how the white walls in our house have felt. Bald and empty, waiting for something.

Now I’ve spent several hours browsing through the archives of the blog, Colour Me Happy, and found much food for thought. Why you need a starting point for your colour choices. How to think about colour flow in your house, and an example of how to achieve it. How a light colour will NOT make a dark room lighter but just accentuate the shadows. How to test the colours you’re thinking of using. All this is shown and explained with lots of photos. Now I don’t think there was a single interior there that I really loved, but that’s not the point. I loved the thinking.

Do you have any advice on choosing colours for a home? I have the beginnings of an overarching colour scheme in my head but would still like to hear your top tips.

“I think I will have the fish”

This was the month of teething. Adrian’s first tooth appeared just about a month ago. Now both bottom incisors are out, as well as the tip of an eye tooth, and (as of today) the tips of the top incisors. As a side effect there has been a lot of drooling and quite a lot of crying, too. I don’t remember Ingrid crying so much about teething. And then he blows raspberries so there is bubbly spittle everywhere.

Already he is learning to use those teeth on food. He can gnaw on a chunk of apple and scrape pieces off a bread stick. He is not very interested in the various teething rings and chewable toys. I think the only thing I’ve noticed him actually chewing on is his dummy. He has understood that our fingers are now off limits (he used to suck on them and chew them with his gums) and he’s not been biting my boobs either. He did it once, just to try I think, and didn’t like it when I cried OW.

While he was getting his latest teeth he completely lost interest in eating and has regained it only in the last few days. As a result I cannot really say what he likes to eat right now, apart from various kinds of bread (including home-made pie crust, and Havrefras). He really likes drinking water from his sippy cup, and will stretch towards him and make demanding noises until we help him drink.

He nurses often and happily. Usually he wants to nurse after waking (although not necessarily immediately) and again before going to sleep. Recently he’s been very distracted while nursing, so his most undisturbed meals are the ones before he goes to sleep in a dim quiet room, and those in the middle of the night. He likes to grip and hold my breast with both hands. When he doesn’t, his arms and hands flail around and look for something to grip. Most often they find my clothes.

“I think I will have the pink one”

He talks quite a lot more than he used to. It started with “bjäbb bjäbb”, then we had “höbba höbba”, then “däd däd däd” and now “mäm mäm mäm”. (Swedish/Estonian pronounciation for all the above.)

Mostly he talks when he is unhappy. Or perhaps all my mental images of him talking are with an unhappy tone because he is somewhat discontented much of the time. His is not a sunny disposition. He is bores quickly and loves company and new things to look at. (Sounds very much like a certain 4-year-old in this house, doesn’t it?) The absolute best way to make him happy is to either have guests, the more the merrier, or to go out. Just him and me in the house is a recipe for endless whining.

He very much likes to see what is going on. The hip seat I bought has been very useful, especially for when I’m preparing dinner.

He will not accept being left on his own for long – first there are mild complaints, then within a minute he will be crying, and soon all out screaming. It’s a good thing that he can now sit upright – I can just take him with me to whatever room I need to go to and plop him down on the floor. And really once he learned this skill, he was stable pretty much straight away: he may have fallen over maybe once a day in the beginning and very rarely now. We never had any need for pillows behind him or anything like that.

Now that he can sit, he will not accept lying down for more than brief moments, except when sleeping, or when he gets to be naked during a nappy change. He likes being naked. And the moment I take off his nappy, he will grip his genitals and pull at them. It looks like it should hurt but it obviously doesn’t.

He also likes standing. Often after a nappy change I pull him up to a seated position by letting him hold onto my fingers. Quite often he will keep holding so I can help pull him all the way up to standing. Other times he misjudges and lets go just a bit too early and falls back on his back, and we start over.

“I think I will have the pine cone”

Fine motor skills are not his forte. He can grip things and turn them in his hands and pass them from one hand to the other, but he quite often he drops them when he doesn’t want to. And he is not always able to let go when he does want to drop them. Still, he’s getting better: he can now get something like half a grape into his mouth, sometimes. He doesn’t quite seem to trust his hands/arms: sometimes he bends forwards with his body towards the toy he wants, rather than pull it towards him. He is becoming interested in smaller details like care labels on toys, but he cannot really manipulate them very well yet.

This month I also took away his dummy for nighttime sleep. He now falls asleep much more easily and sleeps so much better. It used to be that he had his best naps in the sling; now the bed is the best place. This is a very new experience for me! Usually we nurse, then I turn him over on his tummy (because he often needs to burp, still). Then he complains and refuses to lie down for maybe a minute or two (literally). Then he realizes that he is tired and sleepy, puts his head down, and I pat him for another minute or two. And then he’s asleep. When he wants to go to sleep and stops fighting it, he often makes a groaning/grunting/humming noise. At first I thought it was because he was somehow uncomfortable, but later I realized it’s his lullaby – often he will stop it when I sing for him or make a rhythmic shushing sound.

He wakes pretty regularly each night, two or maybe three times, nurses, and then goes back to sleep with no fuss. Except when he has a cold, or is teething, or in one of his must-poop-at-four-in-the-morning phases.

We had an afternoon gathering today for our extended family in Sweden. (This means half a dozen Berghedens, their kids and significant others, and my mum, since my brother rarely attends such things.) This was sort of a delayed birthday party for Eric, but also a reverse birthday party for the guests since many of them have birthdays in March and April, and we haven’t seen them since. Once Eric had gone through the list, it turned out that only one guest did NOT have a birthday in spring, and for two significant others we weren’t quite sure, so we found small gifts for them as well. (Later we found out that both of the unknowns also had birthdays within a month from now.)

With preparations and cleaning up this really took up all our day. Eric baked bread and two cakes. We cleaned the clutter out of the living room and vacuumed the ground floor, and brought out the garden furniture. Once the guests were here we realized the weather had turned so warm that we could sit outside – yay! – so we moved the party to our small patio. The three kids chose to sit in the sofa in the dim living room and play various electronic games instead.

We also got our strongest guests to help us with moving Ingrid’s fort. It is HEAVY. Our garden is slowly coalescing into “rooms” that each have a function and a certain character – perhaps not so visibly yet but in my mind. The part where the fort used to sit is turning into a kitchen garden, with raised beds for our strawberries etc, and soon a clothes airer. We moved it closer to the swing and the deck-to-be, so that part of the garden will become a “room” for playing and lounging.

Ingrid’s foot was still hurting but much better today. She limps but not as much as before. Still, when we went to town for some urgent gift shopping, she got to sit in a stroller. Luxury. Adrian didn’t like the stroller as much as on Thursday so he spent most of the time in a sling.

Bought a book about working with colour in interiors – we will need to make some decisions about colour in our new rooms pretty soon.

Adrian is happier again; the worst of the teething seems to be behind us for now. He is actually interested in eating again.

I’ve given up trying to get him to sit on my back in a wrap so now I’ve brought out one of the mei tais. This has worked better because he will inevitably end up in a reasonable position even when he fights me while I’m getting him in place. He had a good nap on my back yesterday, and another one today.

Scrubbed the horizontal surfaces of Ingrid’s fort so we can start painting it some day soon.

Did a GTD review for the first time in many weeks.

An ordinary month with no major developments or events.

The general tone has been somewhat negative: Ingrid is quick to say no to everything, to voice negative opinions, to say that whatever we propose is boring. When the food is good she says nothing; when there is some minor part of it she doesn’t like she is quick to tell us “I don’t like these ones”. I keep telling her that I am tired of hearing it, just leave whatever parts you don’t want, but it doesn’t seem to register.

She whines and complains; she orders me around; she huffs and groans; she answers my questions in a very exasperated tone. “What would you like to drink?” – “But MUUUMMM I don’t WAANT anything to drink!!!” A mini preview of her teenage years, I guess. All drama.

She’s learned or discovered sneaking. A fresh realization that mothers are not omniscient? She might ask me if it’s OK for her to taste whatever dinner ingredient I’m preparing. I tell her it’s OK to take a few pieces but that’s enough. When I leave the kitchen and then look back, I see her stealing another piece. She never used to do anything like that before. Once I saw her take a piece and sneak off to the bathroom to eat it.

Likewise she has started peeking at me when something goes wrong – when she spills her drink, or drops her sandwich in the glass while playing around with it. (I’ve mostly noticed it at mealtimes.) To check my reaction? To see if I noticed? Not sure.

She’s at preschool all days of the week again. Shopping and running errands together with me and Adrian has lost its charm. She’d rather be with her friends.

When I drop her off att preschool or leave her for some other reason, she almost invariably tells me “Emme ma teen kõike” – “Mamma jag gör allting” – literally, “Mummy I will do everything”. I hear this daily, often several times (first at preschool in the morning, then when I leave her on her own so I can put Adrian to bed) and I have no idea what she means by this. I have asked her to explain but she cannot.

Speaking of bedtime, she is often going to bed earlier than she used to, as early as 7 o’clock. At first it was because she didn’t want to be on her own while I put Adrian to bed. Now she sometimes does it even when Eric is at home. (She is generally more OK with being with Eric nowadays, I’m no longer the one and only.) And it’s good for her – she’s more rested in the morning. So she isn’t going to bed too early just to avoid being on her own, it’s the other way round: she used to go to bed too late so as to not miss out on anything exciting.

She’s also getting better at falling asleep on her own. When I need to put both kids to bed I first prep both of them (brush teeth, go to the loo / put on a night nappy, etc). Then we go up to Ingrid’s room where I read for here while Adrian plays with her stuff. Then I tuck her in and go to our bedroom to put Adrian to bed, promising to come back when he’s asleep. She is never happy about it but at the same time she’s no longer really upset about it either. Quite often she’s asleep by the time I’m back. Some time during the night she always comes to our bedroom, which now has a mattress on the floor for her, asks to hold my hand, and goes back to sleep.

Continuing steady progress in reading and writing. She writes longer sentences without losing track of where she is, and can usually read what she just wrote. Usually she writes scriptio continua, with no spaces between words. Sometimes she puts vertical bars between them. She writes small notes, probably copying my GTD-style note-taking: whenever I think of something I need to do, or she tells me something we ought to do, I tell her I will write it down. A sample note: “PÅUNSTASKAJAGÅTILMAJKEN” – “på onsdag ska jag gå till Majken”.

She can read single-syllable words of up to four or five letters, and some simple two-syllable words. The other day she read “Det var en gång en prins som hade”, for example. It goes well as long as there aren’t any weird letters, like G that sounds like J and so on. I wish she could learn to read in Estonian rather than Swedish, because the spelling is a lot more regular. But for that we’d need more Estonian books to read, and better Estonian books, too. But with the library here it’s inevitable that we read a lot more in Swedish. Still, it could be worse – she could be growing up in London and trying to learn to read in English.

Ingrid still tottering around, supporting herself on the heel of her left foot. Called the clinic, they said that as long as it isn’t broken there isn’t much they can do, so no point going there.

Lovely weather today, really warm and sunny, so I wanted to get out of the house – both Ingrid and Adrian would be really bored if they had to sit at home all day. I hesitated for a long while, since Ingrid’s not being able to walk properly would make things tricky. But then I dug out the Urban Jungle buggy, and the kiddy board, and we went out anyway. Worked pretty well: both kids alternated sitting in the buggy; when Ingrid rode in the buggy I had Adrian in a sling, and when Adrian rode, Ingrid stood on the kiddy board. Adrian accepted the buggy well enough when he was awake but didn’t like it for falling asleep – it’s forward facing only and he likes to be able to see me.

We went to IKEA since it’s easy to get to, not so crowded on a weekday, reasonably fun for Ingrid, and even marginally useful. Bought a rope ladder (to be hung either from the cherry tree or from Ingrid’s fort), some toy food for Ingrid (ice cream cones and a birthday cake, pretty nicely done), a soap dish, a soap dispenser. Then to a bike shop nearby where we got a basket for Ingrid’s bike. Pink of course.

Brought out a picnic blanket and we all spent some time in the sunny garden when we got home. Ingrid got bored pretty soon and went inside to watch a movie on the iPad; Adrian tasted moss and dry grass.

Adrian is still crying a fair amount because of teething. The two front teeth at the top are on the way, I can see them through the gums but not yet feel them. Gave him paracetamol in the morning and that kept him happy for a good six hours. Now I’m thinking about how much paracetamol is OK in such a situation. If he had a high fever I’d just follow the instructions, 4 times a day until he gets better. But teething? It’s not as major as a high fever, but it makes him unhappy. Once day is OK, even several days in a row. Twice? Getting iffy. Three times – too much in my opinion. Luckily the teething pain comes and goes in about half-hour intervals, so he’s not unhappy all the time and it is possible to actually prepare a dinner and get other such stuff done.

Woke at 6 because Anton the Builder started work on removing the temporary wall in our new living room.

Around 8 o’clock the sliding glass doors arrived. They came on a flatbed truck with a huge crane: the whole section arrives in one piece, 5.3 metres long and weighing 680 kg. All this had to be lifted straight from the truck to where it’s going to sit – since it’s so big and heavy you can’t really move it without a crane. In our case this required a crane with a 17-metre reach, and 5 guys to get it in place. And because it was to be fitted into an existing wall they couldn’t just put it down, it had to be slotted into the wall from the side.

I spent the next hour or so gawping and taking photos, only reluctantly taking a break to get Ingrid ready to leave (brush teeth, brush hair, etc) and then take her to preschool. By the time I was back, the wall/window/door section was in place and the builders were busy adjusting it to get it level and flush with the wall.

The room now looks astounding. So light, so airy. I so look forward to having it ready for use.

Playgroup with Adrian. Grocery shopping.

Ingrid had somehow hurt her left big toe at preschool and couldn’t walk on that foot, said it hurt when she bent the foot. Good thing we had the bike – cycling doesn’t require her to put any weight on her toes or to bend them. Lots of crying during the afternoon since of course she wouldn’t sit still and kept hurting the toe again. If it doesn’t get better by tomorrow we’ll make another trip to the local clinic.

Adrian also cried a lot; I think there must be more teeth on the way.

The temporary wall, about a month ago

No wall

Lifting

More lifting

Slotting in place

The new wall

It’s been over two years since I bought my MacBook Pro. And I still cannot get used to the fact that the apple on the lid is upside down. Whenever I put it down (after taking it out from a bag, for example) I naturally turn it with the apple right side up, feel for the groove to open it, and then realize I’m doing it wrong again.

I know, I know, the apple is there for whoever walks past or sits opposite me… but in my case nobody does that. Except perhaps some fly on the wall next to my desk.

I think I need to put a sticker or something on the bottom edge of the lid.

Ingrid uses me as a random number generator occasionally, although she doesn’t of course know that that’s what it’s called. “Gold star or gold heart?” she asks me, or “Dora or Bolibompa?” – and then makes some sort of decision based on my answer. Last time I think it was to decide the order of eating her breakfast.

Adrian still farting and pooping all the time. I counted five dirty nappies on the floor after the night. I think he produced three of them between the hours of 4 and 5 in the morning. Then he was so tired in the morning that he didn’t even wake when the alarm went off at 7 and the rest of us got up – he slept until a quarter to nine. Pretty whingey most of the day, not at all interested in food, nursing lots instead.

Went to the supermarket, did some laundry. Finished entering my backlog of receipts into our expense tracker; started checking off the latest quarterly bank statement.

Tried to remove the gravel that’s been left in some corners of our garden by the snow dumped there. Some parts had so much gravel that you couldn’t see the grass or the earth. A stiff brush worked best to get the gravel out of the grass, and then simply scooping it up with my hands, or just scraping or brushing it straight into the hedge. There, it might actually be useful and keep the weeds away.

Ingrid wanted to go to bed unusually early. Once in bed it turned out she wasn’t actually tired at all, she just wanted to cuddle with me. Well, tough luck – Adrian isn’t going to accept sitting quietly in a dim room. I had to leave the room with him, so she got the opposite of what she’d planned. That’s what you get when you try to trick your mum.