We’ve been watching Firefly on DVD. Yesterday we saw Jaynestown. One of the side stories in this episode was about how Inara was hired by the local magistrate to “make a man” out of his 26-year-old son. Inara did what Inara does, and that was that. Afterwards, though, the son was wondering why he didn’t feel any different – didn’t feel any more like a man. I’ve been feeling the same about motherhood.

Somehow I had been expecting that becoming a mother would change me. That I would feel different, that I would feel like I was a different person. Perhaps not overnight… but surely a year would be enough time for any changes to take effect?

But I still don’t feel any different. I don’t feel that my role in life is to be a mother. I don’t primarily identify myself as a mom. My life has changed, of course, in the sense that I spend my time differently, have a different set of priorities, etc. But I myself have not. I am my old self but with new things in my life – not a new self.

Did becoming a parent change you?