This is my pillow. It looks totally shapeless and unfluffy, doesn’t it? And it is, and that’s a good thing. I’ve come to realize that soft down-filled pillows may seem comfy but aren’t actually comfortable for sleeping – for me at least. (And let’s not even mention pillows with polyester fill.)

Back in 2010 when we were in Beijing, we bought silk pillows. The pillows were filled with silk fibre, not that the outer casing was made of silk fabric. They were quite flat and firm and served us well for many years, but they did finally wear out.

When I was looking for a replacement earlier this year, I somehow stumbled upon buckwheat pillows. That sounded weird enough to be worth a try. The first few nights, the buckwheat pillow felt as weird as it sounded. It was noisy, for one thing – the buckwheat hulls rustle when I move around. And they smell of buckwheat, so it was like sleeping with a bowl of buckwheat porridge next to my bed. But I guess my brain learned to filter out the sound, and the smell disappeared with time, and now I rarely notice them. And the pillow is wonderfully comfortable.

My pillow is the complete opposite of soft. I think it might actually hurt to punch it, though I haven’t tried. But it’s wonderfully supportive and adjustable and I can shape it to fit my head exactly. Sleeping on my side? Bunch it up. Sleeping on my back? Wriggle a bit and make the perfect indentation in it. When I lift my head, the pillow stays, ready to support me again.