{"id":6794,"date":"2015-10-18T21:35:42","date_gmt":"2015-10-18T20:35:42","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.toomik.net\/helen\/blog\/?p=6794"},"modified":"2015-10-18T21:35:42","modified_gmt":"2015-10-18T20:35:42","slug":"one_hundred_and_eight_months","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.toomik.net\/helen\/blog\/2015\/10\/18\/one_hundred_and_eight_months\/","title":{"rendered":"One hundred and eight months"},"content":{"rendered":"


\nI have a nine-year-old. A pre-teen, I guess. Soon she will be a teenager and before you know it she’ll be eighteen and moving out!<\/p>\n

She and two of her friends had a birthday party together, with a sleepover. Pizza, disco, movie, sleepover, ice cream and candy… And a lot of discussions. The girls created the invitation together in Wordpad, and it took them forever at least an hour. Not because they had difficulty with Wordpad but because every detail had to be discussed and every choice made together. Which is very democratic but also very inefficient. The same happened on the morning of their sleepover: they spent so much time discussing what to play, that they ended up having barely any time to actually play together.<\/p>\n

Peers and their opinions matter quite a lot to Ingrid. She’s concerned about sticking out too much, especially in ways that would lead to questions. Questions are uncomfortable. I’ve noticed on a few occasions that when she’s upset, she tries to hide it from others. And if a classmate notices and comes by to ask what’s up, Ingrid says nothing and leaves instead.<\/p>\n

She compares herself to others. She is very aware that she is the shortest one in her class, and shorter than some kids who are one or even two years below her. She is tougher and less girly than some of the others.<\/p>\n

She is aware of interactions between her peers – not just who plays with whom, but who is difficult to get along with. She knows who doesn’t get along with whom, and took that into account when planning the invitations for the birthday party: one of her best friends can be somewhat abrasive and stubborn so Ingrid didn’t invite her, because she didn’t want to have any disagreements and fights during the party.
\n
\nShe is not quite as aware of her own behaviour towards other… She likes\/needs\/wants to prove Adrian wrong when she catches him echoing something we say, without really knowing what he’s talking about. Ingrid may say that she really hates X, and Adrian says he also hates X. “Do you even know what X is? Well then tell me!”<\/p>\n

Ingrid mostly accepts rules and musts now, without more than token grumbling – from iPad time limits to twice-weekly hair washing. But at the same time I notice small secrets and lies: telling me she has washed her hands when she clearly hasn’t, or sneaking her iPad into her room when she’s not supposed to. I’ve been mostly letting these pass because they’ve been rare, as far as I know, and about minor things – small acts of rebellion and independence. Hopefully they’re not the beginning of a bigger issue. When confronted, she either pretends like nothing – “I did wash my hands but if you want I can wash them again” or stomps off in a sulk.<\/p>\n

She drowns her sorrows in Minecraft and YouTube, anaesthetises unpleasant feelings and situations by distracting herself with watching YouTube clips. In Minecraft she’s started exploring public servers and their minigames, e.g. Mineplex and Hypixel.<\/p>\n

Favourite word: YOLO, still – used in all sorts of suitable and unsuitable contexts, and as a general interjection of joy and happiness, sort of like “yeah!!!” Also she generally likes to experiment with an American teenager voice, all drawl and “yeah man”.<\/p>\n

After a long while of declining interest, she quit riding this month. Scouting is now her only after-school activity.
\n<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I have a nine-year-old. A pre-teen, I guess. Soon she will be a teenager and before you know it she’ll be eighteen and moving out! She and two of her friends had a birthday party together, with a sleepover. Pizza, disco, movie, sleepover, ice cream and candy… And a lot of discussions. The girls created […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[15,23],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-6794","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-ingrid_johanna","category-monthly"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.toomik.net\/helen\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6794","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.toomik.net\/helen\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.toomik.net\/helen\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.toomik.net\/helen\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.toomik.net\/helen\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=6794"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.toomik.net\/helen\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6794\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":6795,"href":"https:\/\/www.toomik.net\/helen\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6794\/revisions\/6795"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.toomik.net\/helen\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=6794"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.toomik.net\/helen\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=6794"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.toomik.net\/helen\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=6794"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}