{"id":4322,"date":"2012-12-18T23:17:32","date_gmt":"2012-12-18T22:17:32","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.toomik.net\/helen\/blog\/?p=4322"},"modified":"2023-08-09T22:57:54","modified_gmt":"2023-08-09T21:57:54","slug":"twenty-seven_months-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.toomik.net\/helen\/blog\/2012\/12\/18\/twenty-seven_months-2\/","title":{"rendered":"Twenty-seven months"},"content":{"rendered":"

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\nBy far the most frequently used word in Adrian’s vocabulary right now is min<\/i>, “mine”. Everything is “mine!” and there is a constant stream of min emme!<\/i>, min tallrik!<\/i>, min skor!<\/i>, min vagn!<\/i>. Sometimes we make a game of it – he goes min emme!<\/i> and Ingrid says min emme!<\/i> and he says min emme!<\/i> once more and then I go min Adrian!<\/i> and Ingrid says min pappa!<\/i> and so on. Or maybe it turns into min fot!<\/i> and min lampa!<\/i> and mitt tr\u00e4d!<\/i> until anything and everything is ours.\n<\/p>\n

\nIt is partly a game, partly a habit, but partly also a manifestation of his intense possessive jealousy right now. When he says min stol!<\/i> he means it, and will not let Ingrid touch his chair. He tries to push away Ingrid’s hand when she holds on to the stroller while we walk home from school; he won’t let Ingrid use the same glass as he.\n<\/p>\n

\nHe is mostly jealous towards Ingrid, and probably all the kids at nursery. Not towards me, but I suspect that is because I fall in the category of “possessions” rather than “competitors”. He sometimes doesn’t want to allow Ingrid to sit next to me, because I am min mamma!<\/i>\n<\/p>\n

\nThere also seems to be a streak of actual anxiety about separation and strangers. The proclamations of min mamma<\/i> are most frequent when we are with people he doesn’t know well. When we go to pick up Ingrid at school, he doesn’t really want to walk in through the door, and when he does, he hugs my leg, hides his face, and says min mamma!<\/i> to anybody who comes close or even looks in his direction. He does the same when some friendly stranger on the train starts talking to him, or a neighbour says hi to me. A few months ago he would have gladly said hi to them all and then shown off some bag or toy or something.\n<\/p>\n

\nIt’s not just me he wants to keep close. He gets anxious when the family is out walking together and one of us falls behind or gets too far ahead. When we’re all home and suddenly he cannot see Eric, Adrian asks where he is. The one day when I took him to nursery in the morning and we did NOT have Ingrid with us, he checked several times, var \u00e4r Ingrid?<\/i> and I kept telling him that Ingrid is at home. He is in a herd phase and, like a good sheep dog, he wants to keep the herd together. (I remember Ingrid doing the same at about the same age I believe, but with more tears. Maybe those are yet to come.)\n<\/p>\n

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\nAdrian likes:<\/p>\n