• I am tired of being pregnant. It is boring and inconvenient. I can barely bend enough at the waist to get my socks and shoes on. I have to go to the loo once an hour, at a guess. I spill food on my clothes because I cannot get close enough to the table. I cannot run with Ingrid. (On the other hand, I float much better than usual, which is nice when we go swimming.)
• I am noticing a turning-inwards. I am less interested than usual in spending time friends and family, or going out to do things. I would rather just do stuff at home, preferably on my own. I am also feeling a drive to get things done, which is why my GTD list is getting leaner while the blog is getting less attention.

My back feels better during this pregnancy, perhaps because I move around more? I haven’t needed the Big V yet, even though it’s there in the bedroom, waiting for me.

Again I have a very active baby, kicking so you can see my whole abdomen wobble. There is no sign of him/her quieting down yet, even though there shouldn’t be much space in there. Now the little legs are so distinct that sometimes I can’t help poking them around when the baby kicks, pushing them one way and the other.

I have an audience this time. Ingrid likes feeling the kicks, especially when she is sitting on my lap or next to me and feels an unexpected kick against some part of her own body.

This time I’ve been having Braxton Hicks contractions – I can’t recall feeling any last time. It is really uncomfortable when the baby chooses to kick around during a contraction.

Being pregnant feels far less exciting and special this time. I am tired of the whole thing and wish the baby could come out now. Counting days (should be about 6 weeks to go as of yesterday).

Being pregnant is much less exciting the second time around. It is a bit of a hindrance in my daily activities, and that’s it. I don’t feel any need to take photos, or to even say much about the pregnancy.

Back starting to ache? Check.
Fast walking starting to become difficult? Check.
Baby kicking around like a nutter? Check.
Body starting to look a bit less bony? Check.

Been there done that.

Until just a few days ago, I didn’t feel particularly pregnant – apart from not fitting into my normal clothes. I didn’t look particularly pregnant, either: as long as I was wearing a jacket or sweater, you look right at me and not notice anything. And even when I was wearing a normal dress, you’d have to pay attention to notice the bump.

Now suddenly the bump has started growing and become more visible. And at the same time it’s making itself noticed in daily life. It’s beginning to get in my way when I clip my toenails. And it’s taking up internal space, so there’s less room for food in my stomach. After a normal-sized meal it feels like I’ve overeaten and I’ve got food up to my throat.

Today I had my second appointment with the midwife. I chose her for one reason only: she does planned home births, and that’s a rare thing in this country. Luckily she’s turned out to be a good fit otherwise, too. She’s relaxed and down to earth. “Any idea how much you might weigh now? No? OK, not to worry, it’s not that important. How are you feeling? Any complaints or discomforts? No? Well, in that case, since your blood pressure is looking good, we won’t bother with a urine sample, unless you want to. See you again in a month.”

In terms of body shape & size I am stuck in no man’s land. Too thick around the waist to fit into my normal skirts and trousers; not round enough to fill out most maternity clothes. Some dresses sort of work, except then I need tights, and the normal ones don’t fit well and the maternity ones are of lousy quality and last about two days of use before I have to throw them out. I want a proper bump!

While I do have a stash of maternity wear from last time, it turns out to not really fill my needs. First, as expected, there’s the climate issue. April in London is a great deal warmer than April in Sweden. Second, my lifestyle has changed. There is hardly anything in my stash for gardening, playgrounds, and other such physical and semi-messy activities.

I need to shop. I dislike shopping at the best of times, and now I need to do it under time pressure. And the shops seem to sell jeans, and clothes in black and white. Depressing.

On the positive side, I am no longer tired, and not unusually hungry either. And I have been feeling movements for the past week or two. First it felt like a little fish fluttering around; now it’s a bit more focused and distinct, like a bubble popping, so I can actually imagine tiny legs kicking around in there.

It’s official: we’re expecting another baby! ETA around September 28th.

I’m also releasing some previously-written but hitherto-embargoed posts in the Pregnancy category.

During this pregnancy (thus far at least) I haven’t experienced anything like the absurd all-consuming hunger I felt last time around. I eat a little bit more, and need an extra snack now and again to keep my blood sugar level.

But just like last time, I want cool, light, juicy food above all. Yoghurt and fruit are especially good. Some days I notice a lovely cake or cookie somewhere, and really wish that I wanted to eat it – but when given a choice I’d much rather have some grapes. The best meal is unsweetened yoghurt mixed with some berries from the freezer, and Havre Fras (puffy oat cereal). I’d been wondering what we would use all those berries for (cause we have lots). Now I know: to build a baby!

My body never quite regained its original shape after my previous pregnancy (even though I quickly tumbled back to my original weight). And now my waist is getting rounder again. Most of my “smart casual” skirts are already unusable; the dresses still fit, and some trousers too. Time to unpack the pregnancy clothes again. How lucky that we’ve managed to time this pregnancy to match the seasonality of the previous one almost exactly!

I am tired and I am hungry. It feels like there’s no limit to how much I could sleep. There are, of course, clear limits to how much I can actually sleep, since I do need to work and take care of the household. Interestingly the tiredness really only hits me when I slow down. As long as I am moving, kept busy, I don’t feel it too much. Then I finish eating dinner and just sit for 5 minutes, and I can barely keep awake.

The pregnancy is clearly messing with my blood sugar and digestion. I have to eat every three hours or so, but often when I feel that I absolutely must eat something RIGHT NOW, when I go to the kitchen to actually get food, the only thing I want is a yoghurt or perhaps an apple. The thought of actually eating real food is almost revolting. So the signal of hunger arises from low blood sugar, not from lack of energy.

My blood pressure also seems to be swinging wildly, and standing still for long stretches of time is not good. Several mornings now, while standing on the train – only 11 minutes – I’ve been close to fainting due to low blood pressure. It’s the worst combination: standing still, and being slightly too hot because we’re effectively indoors but with outdoor clothes.

My least favourite pregnancy complaint thus far: gassy stomach. Very uncomfortable, sometimes really painfully so. I fart like a champion. Because of this I find it hard to fit into my clothes at times, even though I haven’t gained much weight yet, so I feel a lot more pregnant than I really am.

Speaking of which… Whenever I think of the English word (farting) I cannot help but remember a business trip, back in 2004 or so. This was while I was living and working in London. There were four of us, visiting a few companies in Stockholm over two days: myself, a colleague, my boss, and my boss’s boss. As our taxi left the airport, one of the others spotted a sign for “Utfart”, meaning Exit in Swedish. And they found it hilarious. So hilarious that for the next two, they would shout “utfart!” to each other about once every half hour. It got old after about 3 repetitions, but not for them. Educated intelligent adults, with jobs entailing significant responsibility over much money – and with a sense of humour at the level of an 8-year-old. And they’ve forever ruined the word utfart for me.

Another positive pregnancy test 10 days ago – looks like we’re back in business. Another autumn baby, if this works out; s/he should arrive about 2 weeks before Ingrid’s birthday.

And now I’m entering the tired phase. All afternoon and evening all I can think of is just lying down and closing my eyes. I’m already noticing increasing hunger, too, but I’m clearly not yet in that extreme phase of constant eating.

Well, looks like this is it for this pregnancy. Cramps and bleeding today. Good thing I resisted the temptation to tell everyone.