Egenmäktigt förfarande won the August prize in 2013 and reviewers praised it to the skies. I can see why, and yet I didn’t like or enjoy the book at all.

Ester, a writer/journalist, falls head over heels in love with Hugo, a famous artist. He seems sort of interested and they meet casually a few times. But it soon becomes apparent to everyone but Ester that he’s just not that into her. She can’t let go and desperately interprets every little action of his, looking for signs of love. He on the other hand needs that feeling of being desired and keeps her hanging on, never quite saying no.

If Ester was a teenager, I might find this believable. But I just cannot swallow the idea that an intelligent, rational adult woman with no apparent psychological problems would suddenly become so naive and blind, and lose all of her critical thinking ability as well as her self-respect. This book makes no sense to me.

And its wallowing in Ester’s inability to think clearly became very predictable and quite annoying after a while. At first I could empathise with Ester to some extent. But as the story went on and nothing ever really changed, I felt that her emotional state was so far from what I could relate to that it didn’t engage me at all any more. I turned the pages faster and read less of each one.

The story is so very simple that the book isn’t really about the story but about how it is told. Even though it’s all about emotions and passion, it’s very dispassionately written. I never get close to Ester. We may hear the thoughts inside her head but we see them from the outside, laid out in order and clinically dissected. It’s passion as described in an essay, using the most carefully chosen clever and precise phrases, strung after each other just so. Passion from a distance, so you cannot actually feel it, only analyze it.

A book for intellectuals to be impressed by, not for readers to enjoy.

Ingrid has been asking for a pet for months already. Eric and I are pretty convinced that this is one of those things that sound like fun but that in practice Ingrid would get bored quite fast – like with most toys and things she has wished for Christmas or birthdays.

A pet is of course a bigger responsibility and commitment than, say, a pair of inline skates. So we found a solution: we begin by borrowing a pet. If, after a few weeks, it turns out to be as much fun as Ingrid believes, then she can get a pet of her own.

Therefore, meet Sito, a dwarf hamster who really belongs to Ingrid’s cousin Hedvig but is staying with us for a week or two.


We spent the first third of this month in Estonia. The trip made a huge difference in Adrian’s ability and willingness to speak Estonian. He now actually spontaneously adresses me in Estonian, while before the trip he would rather be silent than answer in Estonian when I spoke to him.

A less appealing habit that he picked up in Estonia was asking “why do I have to do X”. Once – truly, just once – I jokingly asked, “why do we have to eat so many times every day, can’t we just stop eating?” because I was tired of all the cooking and washing up I had to do. He picked up that pattern and then used it a lot. Except he wasn’t quite able to pick up the part about it being a joke and sounded whiny instead. He also got into the habit of looking for someone to blame. Whenever he found something that wasn’t the way he wanted, he would ask “who put this here”, “who did this”. I do feel like the whining is abating a bit now and he is less negative in his speech.

He is obsessed with Lego. He rarely uses any other toys. He often asks me if and when we can buy more Legos. Thursdays are good days because then Ingrid’s Kalle Anka magazine arrives in the mail, and sometimes there’s a little Lego set included, which Ingrid lets him have. On his birthday wish list there is really one thing only: a giant Lego Chima set (which I’ve ordered already just to be sure that we get one!)

Oh, actually, there is one thing better than Legos: watching Lego themed Youtube clips on the iPad, especially videos of someone building Lego Chima or Lego Ninjago sets.


Artwork by Adrian. His description, as far as I can recall it:

This is a rope between two mountains. You cycle on the rope between the mountain tops. The rope is tied with strong knots so it won’t come loose.

You have to be careful not to fall off, because the orange thing below the rope is lava. And underneath the lava, if you fall past the lava, you end up in green slime [mostly hidden behind the masking tape] and you don’t want that.

So it’s quite dangerous and only for adults, kids can’t do this.

The last month of summer vacation. All full of activity with our Estonia trip, Kolmården, scout camp and swim camp. This is the kind of life that suits Ingrid best so it’s been a happy month for her.

Looking forward to each trip or camp is almost as enjoyable as the event itself. Packing is also great fun, and she loves to do it thoroughly and slowly and together with me. Unpacking though is no fun at all – we have to keep reminding her, and still I find her dirty rain jacket in the corner a week later, stuffed in a little bag, or maybe some week-old leftover snacks in a smelly box.

She’s been extending camp life by sleeping in the tent we put up in the garden for her. A sleeping bag, a flashlight, and a pile of Kalle Anka Pocket issues is all she needs to enjoy herself. She has also started talking about wanting a room of her own – part of the charm of the tent may be that nobody else is ever there.

She has become fond of giving gifts. It was very important for her to buy birthday presents for me – and to keep them secret so she could surprise me. I got a photo album and a plant (a Saintpaulia). She’s also spent pocket money on gifts for Adrian. His reactions have been mixed, from “I want more! Now!” to “meh”.

Favourite expression: YOLO! – pronounced either in English, yoh-loh, or in Swedish, jållå. The tough/hip combo of hip hop style is starting to interest her (although not hip hop music).


We never got around to going camping this summer. Instead Ingrid has been sleeping in a tent in the garden for a week now.

It sounded nice. Birdsong in the morning, fresh air… I thought I’d try it out, too. Eric and the kids were away this weekend so Saturday night I went to sleep in the tent.

I don’t know how she does it! The light woke me at about 5 in the morning. I desperately tried to go back to sleep, pulling the sleeping bag over my head, but kept waking again and again, so I fled to the darkness of our bedroom after 40 minutes. And the sleeping bag didn’t let me move around freely so I was stiff as well. Never again!


Shoes used to live long enough to be inherited by the next kid. These shoes won’t – and they are only a few months old. I guess they have lived a hard life. Toes scuffed, holes in the fabric at the top corners, outer layer of sole lost on one, the backs squashed…

A late night swim in a small, quiet lake. Just us two at the entire lake.